Turning to crime

I am unemployable, morbidly obese loser. Due to a couple sexual harassment lawsuits a few years back, I cannot find a job anywhere. All I have is about £200, a masters in computer science, and a desire to live a more expensive life. As such, I've been thinking about becoming a criminal to get money. I'm thinking of buying a gun, and maybe selling drugs. I'm not a good fighter, so I'll probably only sell to schoolchildren. What do you think? Would this be a good career path for a SICP master to take?

>>19
You're going to inherit a large some of money within three months. Unfortunately, you'll die of cyanide overdose within the year, when your relatives try to steal your wealth. Beware of eggs.

Also, you'll encounter rain next Thursday, so be sure to carry an umbrella.

>>20
Both.

>>22
Consider them checked.