Turning to crime

I am unemployable, morbidly obese loser. Due to a couple sexual harassment lawsuits a few years back, I cannot find a job anywhere. All I have is about £200, a masters in computer science, and a desire to live a more expensive life. As such, I've been thinking about becoming a criminal to get money. I'm thinking of buying a gun, and maybe selling drugs. I'm not a good fighter, so I'll probably only sell to schoolchildren. What do you think? Would this be a good career path for a SICP master to take?

Anyone want to start a cybergang? We could be just like Anonymous, but not as faggy. We need some website designers, a writer to write profound stuff, and someone to lurk on IRC all the time and tell people that we are doing stuff. Maybe do some protection rackets (or schemes, if that's your thing). "Hey, nice tumblr you've got there. Sure would be a shame if someone saved those images and posted them instead of reblogging."

Programmers need not apply.