Current trends in programming?

as per title

Salmon Birobijan style “Roll up your sleeves please” from the hard-working migrants of Zhmerinka Семга по-Биробиджански (lightly salted salmon with lettuce leaves, pancake pie with salmon mousse and salmon caviar, melting in one’s mouth)    
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Gefilte-fisch “Even if he does not like it, when he chokes with a bone” – a dish for Sabbath and for the other days of the week Гефильте-фиш (carp stuffed with delicate quenelle, stewed according to an old Jewish recipe in red beet, carrot and aromatic spices)     
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Stuffed pike “Alef” – a not complicated version of the ancient Judaic inventions in the field of culinary projects (Galicia):for one of such pieces the neighbors Khavkins, living in two minutes walk to the right, should bury themselves with the help of God Щука фаршированная «Алеф» (a juicy slice of stuffed pike with snow-white fish jelly, red-beet and horse radish sauce and minced black olives)    
10
“Schmaltz” herring cooked according to a special recipe of Berdichev native, a woman –bookkeeper Frida Khavkina who once fainted during Brit-Mila (circumcision) of her nephew Levushka Soskind Селедочка «Шмальц» (filleted lightly salted herring with ruby table beet, young spring onion and home made oil)    
9
Herring forshmak “To eat heartily” Jewish style according to the recipe of Granny Moshava from the family of a poor tailor Evno Fishelevich (1890) native of settlement Lyskovo (Grodno Region) Форшмак из сельди (filleted herring with fine minced apple, eggs, shallot, flavored with olive oil and framed with red onions and crispy matzoth)    
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Assorted meat “Fleishig Mashiakh” Мясное ассорти (a wonderful combination of meat delicatessen: piquant roll of lamb brisket, smoked duck, marinated in piquant species of pastorma (dried beef meat), aromatic dried meat of milk calf and spicy oriental basturma - dried beef meat)    
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Carpachio of dried veal meat “Bressola” prepared according to a special recipe of Berdichev native Карпаччио из вяленого мяса теленка (aromatic dried veal meat “Bressola” with olive oil under delicate salad of fresh cucumbers, avocado, “Cherry” tomatoes with refreshing sauce of fresh greens and marinated ceps)    
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Liver pie “If a Jew – with a violin” – with such “pies” understanding Jews make their life nice on Fridays especially if on Thursday they have been eating a fresh milkhig prepared by a courteous milkman Печеночный тортик (specialty liver shortcakes, sandwiched with stewed onions with home made mayonnaise prepared with fragrant herbs and a “pillow” of fresh tomatoes)     
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Egg-plants stuffed in Budapest style “Saturday’s delight”- the favorite dish of the Budapest violinists Lighettis, who have been jealously preserved the recipe of the dish during last forty years Баклажаны, фаршированные по-будапештски (a dish of Sephardic cuisine, including three unusual tastes: minced egg-plant seasoned with lemon, the slices of baked in sweet pepper sauce egg-plant, aromatic minced onion, garlic, carrot spread out in a special way on a half egg-plant specially marinated and baked)     
12
Assorted salted mushrooms “It is none of your Granny’s business” let it be for your good as it is written in the Holy Scripture Ассорти из соленых грибов (forest milk-mushrooms, honey fungus, chanterelles, Boletus luteus with spring onions and garlic marinade)    
10
Jewish pickles “Decoration of menu” – “merci pour le compliment!» as one rabbi used to say when he had no money to celebrate Sabbath and his wife was driving him to the grave Еврейские соленья (home made freshly-salted cucumbers, marinated egg-plants, golden pumpkin, Guri (red) cabbage, green tomatoes and marinated plums)

Salad “Ah, Odessa” served up at the receptions on solemn occasions in the hospitable house of the Odessa’s pawn shop holder Iakov Peisakhovich Салат «Ах, Одесса» (salad with smoked mackerel on the lettuce leaves, with ripe tomatoes, red onions and Greek black olives)    
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Salad “Jacob’s Rosa rejoices and enjoys herself” of avocado with mezze of cherry tomatoes – not in the least bad salad (so beloved in his time by the dentist rabbi Isaiah who had a voice like a calf) Салат «Роза Иакова” (one’s throat would crack of pleasure, because first of all you have lightly salted salmon with Tobiko caviar and Oriental dressing, secondly a juicy salad of avocado, thirdly with cherry tomatoes segments, fourthly on the leaves of Ruccola and fifthly with young asparagus)    
13
“Mestechkovy”(small town) salad with cod liver – they say it was the favorite dish of the People’s commissar Lazar Kaganovich Салат «Местечковый» (a salad of cod liver, quail eggs with coquettish flower of lettuce crispy leaves)    
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Salad “The same figurants and Abramchik” – like “Olivier» salad with fried duck Салатик «Те же и Абрамчик» (home made salad of duck brisket with apple, new potatoes and carrots with fresh and marinated cucumbers under the petal of fileaux pastry)    
12
Fresh vegetables salad “Kibbutz”- the favorite hors d’oeuvre of Bruno Kraisky, health-giving one; Салат из свежих овощей «Киббуц» (a vegetable composition of fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, garden radish, greens with cayenne or at your choice)     
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HOT HORS D’OEUVRES
Hommus with goose cracklings and veal meat “Idische nakhes” with seasoning as it was coocked in the house of a stout lady – village head woman Zelda Zeligman - of Kasrilovka and of her husband – pompous synagogue warden rabi Moshe on Sukkot day Хоммус с гусиными шкварками (traditional Jewish hommus with goose cracklings in combination with fried veal meat)    
9
Baked tongue “Not a word” or “Melamdim batlunym” cooked according to the recipe of Fanny Stock - native of Jitomir, a naughty woman, terrible talker and windbag Язык запеченный (veal tongue, stewed in wine and sweet cherry juice, with spinach, fried ceps, zucchini, onions and ripe sweet cherries)    
11
Giblets “For Bellochka” (“…and I know how do you like my real elegant handwriting…” – from aunt Rosa to uncle Joseph) Потрошки «Для Бэллочки» (fried chicken giblets in its own juice with stewed onions, delicate duck liver and leek “straw”)    
11
Roll of egg-plants “Bobruiysk style” a recipe from a local celebrity with a smoked cheese Рулет из баклажан (rolls of egg-plants with smoked cheese, with piquant cream sauce of green basil and garlic, decorated with tomatoes)    


Okroshka (cold soup) “an item from the menu of Sundays’ lunches in the house of the Professor Kamessiguer Israel Ephimovich” Окрошка fragrant summer okroshka with boiled potatoes, fresh cucumber, egg, greens and garden radishes)    
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Vegetable soup “Shargorodsky style” according to the recipe of the cook Madame Rachel Zuskind, who married successfully for the fourth time, and who could even think!- an Odessa Jew Овощной суп «по шаргородски» (a cold soup on basis of yogurt with fresh cucumber, spring onions and mint Served up with the white bread croutons)     
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Jewish borscht with duck and prunes “Liebe, mein Hertz!” – a culinary accompaniment of refrain: “It is not a sin for the rabbi wife to prepare a borscht but the similar to the one which was used to be cooked in Volyn region” Еврейский борщ с уткой и черносливом (as they say: onion is onion, garlic is garlic, and borscht is borscht, especially if according to the recipe in complete accordance with educated, loving science, reading newspapers people, and those who know what is happening in the world, understand and feel, that one should not be interrupted let a Jew speak)    
9
Fish soup of whitefish Bubruysk style-a recipe of local celebrity – Judith Zakrevsky-actress of the Jewish theater “Zion” (marvelous fish soup of filleted whitefish, stewed carrots, golden onion, olives and capers, fragrant basil and hot capsicum)     
9
Nudeln “Khaimishe” with chicken giblets and ceps – a food for Purim spielers after Purim spiel in honor of the cheerful holiday Purim Нудлен «Хаймише» с куриными потрохами (home made noodles in chicken broth with ceps and chicken giblets for those who like to eat noodle soup after righteous labor)

Sibas according to the recipe of the noble jeweler Yakov Weisberg, a friend of the not unknown gentlemen Kagel and Kogelschatz, who, being in a good mood, liked to send to his friends following telegrams: «appetite is good comma have put on weight full stop” Сибас (delicate sea carp stuffed with black halibut with greens’ butter under an exclusive sauce of fragrant basil and cedar nuts, baked on grape leaves with ripe grapes and Greek black olives Served up on a dish of sea salt)    
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Whitefish in eggplants “Do not try that on, brother” – if we were so old as you have been enjoyed this fish Муксун в баклажанах (filleted whitefish, sandwiched with salsa of tomatoes, green basil and smoked mozzarella Served up with lasanetti, truffle butter and cream-basil sauce)    
17
Trout “Tzatza (swell)” according to a recipe of Paris rabbi Doctor Caminer, which formerly had been cooked after weekly second lecture “About scull-cap in the life of Jews” in the synagogue at the Champs Elysées Форель «Цаца» (lake trout, stuffed with mushroom julienne, stewed in wine vapor on a slack fire with ripe grapes and fragrant herbs)     
18
Crucians in sour cream Odessa style, according to the jealously guarded  recipe of the noble jeweler Yakov Weisberg, a friend of the not unknown gentlemen Kagel and Kogelschatz, who, being in a good mood, liked to send to his friends following telegrams: «appetite is good comma have put on weight full stop” Караси в сметане по-одесски (juicy filleted red crucian /carp/ baked in home-made sour cream with rissole of buckwheat and champignons)

Lamb shoulder “Bar Kokhba” to fortify oneself after mischievous Jewish dance “reztevulka” as it was advised in one’s time by Solomon Abramovich from the pawn shop Баранья лопатка «Бар Кохба» (whole lamb shoulder cooked for you with delicate fried vegetables in a small chest Advised for two persons)     
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Tzimes with prunes and fresh veal – the dish prepared by a bright scullion Shlomo from the tavern “Ezra” on the eve of Shvues holiday Цимес с черносливом и парной телятинкой (the classics of Jewish cuisine cooked of beef sirloin, roasted and stewed with carrots, onions and prunes)    
19
Chicken necks “Gefelte Heltzel” – Report? Comrades? Kish-kish? Freedom for chickens? - Musia tells different stories and everyone makes oneself ill with laughing Куриные шейки «Гефельте Хельцель» (сhicken necks stuffed with chicken fillet, spicy duck grease Served up with fresh strawberries, great bilberries and blackberries in honey-cranberries sauce)     
17
Duck in a wine sauce “Jewish daughter” – for those who are rushing about, like a hunted down mouse, from Shmunia to Bunia Утка под винным соусом (delicate duck fillet in wine sauce with mushrooms, dried tomatoes and paste of emerald-green basil)    
19
Meat “Loengrin Mendelssohn” in sour-sweet sauce according to an ancient recipe of Lithuanian Jews, renewed in the seventies of XIX century in the circles of enthusiasts – gourmets of Ukrainian diaspora Мясо «Лоэнгрин Мендельсон» (swan-song of Jewish cookery prepared of beef sirloin and extraordinary sour-sweet sauce with champignons, celery root, stewed onions, ginger and sweet Bulgarian pepper)     
17
Brisket baked in potatoes pie – “Why don’t we have such luck”, tasted by Moguilev’s whitesmith Borukh Blucher at memorable celebrations in the house of his wealthy relatives in Zhitomir Корейка , запечёная в картофельном пае (lamb brisket baked in potatoes pie Served up with Dutch sauce and sweet tzimes )    
22
Fresh veal in pastry “Les Cercles Magiques” a recipe from a descendant of Kosher Bedouins – Shlomo ben Yemen Молодая телятина в тесте (juicy medallion of delicate milk calf with sauce of ceps and champignons in combination with aromatic foie gras covered by crispy home-made pastry)    
24
Steak of veal as it was prepared in the house of a stout woman-village elder Zelda Zeligman of Kasrilovka and of her husband – a pompous synagogue warden, rabbi Moshe on Sukkoth holiday Стейк из телятины (Steak of marble veal on T-bone with fresh vegetables and fragrant pepper sauce)    
29
Fried potatoes “Dreidl” with cracklings and ceps – for all those who came hungry into the world; traditional dish on Yom Kippur while fire is burning and oil is not over Жареный картофель «Дрейдл» (fried slices of potatoes, baked till readiness with semi-rings of onion, fragrant ceps and duck cracklings)     
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>>2-4

And Abraham said to Usher who said to Paul: Take this here fish and cut it in two. No, scratch that, cut it in three. Or four. And when you do, you will know my brothers, what I have sacrificed to you.

God said, "Take thy beak from out thy heart and take thy form from off my door."

Sally said, "Come on Peter, you'll be late from class."

What did I know? I was only eight years old at the time. The world was big and new to me and Usher said to Paul who said to Jesus who said to Usher: "Take thy heart from out thy beak and take my door from off thy form."

We wondered forty years since that day around in circles when we found him. That's where we found Jesus.

"I tell you," Jesus began, "they don't make these wagon wheels like they used to. God then appeared from out thy beak and out thy door, and smited thy smegma from out our penises."

"I tell you," Jesus said, "go now and say it was the Lord our god who healed you, and you will know when he is around for poop will be flushed from out thy bowels and off thy form from off thy beak."

What is it Sally?

We wondered some more around in circles about that day. We then wandered into a cave where we were all eaten by bears. The end.

Then we were resurrected and we proclaimed, "Take thy horn from out thy beak and trade it for a scooter."

This is how we build programs.

الله اكبر والحمد لله ولا اله الا الله

In the distance there was a call, "What is it Sally?"

"You'll be late for class!" cried Sally.

"I tell you," Jesus began, "they don't make classes like this anymore."

"That's because we're Knights of the Lambda Calculus," a computer scientist in a monkey hat said, "we write programs using the functional paradigm."

And thus, as Sally burst into tears and ultimately killed herself, we came to the realisation that classes were no more.

Meanwhile, perhaps a day in the past, >>1 was typing this question on dis.4chan.org/prog/, searching for his answer.

And God said, "Take thy beak from out thy heart ..."

The class watched carefully as a monkey who was pretending he was a computer scientist tapped away skillfully on a keyboard.

Meanwhile, Jesus raised his hand to grab a monkey's attention.

"I don't understand streams," he said, "how do they work?"

It was then that Jesus tasted his first banana.

"Take thy banana from off thy husband," a Feminist Female Programmer began, "and their priviledge will have been watched."

=.

But Lambda Arthur Calculus would have none of it. Math boys, he considered them, he had no interest in math or bananas at the time.

Take thy standard from off thy ISO, and take thy stack from off my mind.

And Abraham asked Usher who had asked Abraham: "What is the mind?"

Meanwhile, the computer scientist who was pretending he was a monkey became aware of Lambda Arthur Calculus.

Take thy lambda from off thy calculus and take thy turing from off my machine.

An invisible voice said, "Come on sally, you'll be late to function."

"I tell you," Jesus began, "if you take thy function from out thy class, the religious will fling poop at each other."

And Sally was gone.

>>11
what happened to sally?

>>12
NONE OF UR BUSINESS U FUCKIN RETOID

And Abraham said to Paul who said to Usher: "What if I pee into my mouth?"

And God became a beggar.

"Can you spare a beak? Can you spare some form?" he'd continue to ask.

And priests began ass-fucking the altar boys.

Take thy function from out thy class, and take thy lambda and stick it up your ass.

Come to class! Come to class! All boys and all girls, come to class!

Slavery and misery, come to class!

>>1
tl;dr: TAKE THY FUNCTION FROM OUT THY CLASS, AND TAKE THY LAMBDA AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS