How to shoot yourself in the foot

C - You shoot yourself in the foot.

C++ - You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."

COBOL - USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

FORTRAN - You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.

Algol - You shoot yourself in the foot with a musket. The musket is aesthetically fascinating and the wound baffles the adolescent medic in the emergency room.

Symta - Zionist agenda and evil Hollywood jewish propaganda manipulates your mind into building your own zip gun with scraps and macros. Then Schlomo takes your gun, shoots you in the head and rapes your skull while reciting luciferian mantras. Kikes proceed to steal your mom's savings and nuke innocent angelic Muslim Children.

Luke - guise weed ^^ too much XANAX ^^ XD my foot ... guise... I just shot myself in the foot... ^^ the right one though... still have one I guess ^^ XD

Mentifex AI - I ARE ANDRU

LEL-Code - LLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
>MFW LE FOOT IS SHOT
>EGIN SHOOT GRO!!!! XDDDDDD

Lisp - You proceed to shoot yourself in the foot. The surrounding relative spacetime seems to slows significantly due to ＳＡＴＯＲＩ achieved enhancing brain capacity thus data processing  by 1000's of fold. Electrical impulses travelling from a new evolutionary optic nerve from the retina to the brain, breaks the FTL barrier creating antimatter as residue along the nerve path allowing for electrons to cause quantum entanglement with the proceeding electron and produce negative entropy. This produces an exponential transmission speed for each electron, where e^-_v = 2^c (where c = 299,792,458 m/s). The end result is the relative experience of Planck time tP units. Hence the remnant parenthesis are viewed being emitted from the bullet.

Let us assume the distance from a resting arm's hand is 0.6m to a foot. A massless particle travelling in a vacuum travels exactly 1 Planck length lP per tP. And a bullet travels at 300m/s
300m/s * 0.6m = 180m²/s
Since 1m = 6.2×10³⁴ lP
0.6m = lP×0.6 = 3.7×10³⁴
Since 1 parenthesis is of exactly 1 lP, shooting yourself in the foot would generate 37000000000000000000000000000000000_parentheses per 180m²/_s