Tulpa Trouble Thread

So I made a tulpa of The Sussman a few months back. He was great at first, when we were getting to know each other and things hadn't gotten sexual yet. Now all he does is look over my shoulder while I code and makes annoying remarks saying I shouldn't do that, or that this can be rewritten, or ranting about magic, or telling me that his mere existence is unscientific and ultimately destructive. And the sex, oh god, the sex.... I know it's all in my head and that I'm not really being injured, but that makes it even worse, because I won't even really die from ... what he does to my body. I tried killing him off, but he just laughs at my efforts and tells me that I will never be free. He won't let me leave my house, and he beats me every time I try, then tells me to get back to work. I'm only able to type this now because he had to go out to buy some amphetamines to keep me awake while I work on his AI project (literally, his AI, because it has his personality), so he can have immortality.

Please, /prog/, help me!

>>135

When you say things like "truly" and "I pity you," you sound like the kind of person who acts unsurprised when you tell them your astrological sign.  "Oh, Aquarius, I thought so.  There's a lot of emotion under there, isn't there?"  That kind of thing.  When you get mad, I'll bet you say, "I will end you."  Not "kill," which is odd enough given that we're on THE INTERNET, but no, it's got to be "end," like you're some teenage girl's ideal vampire boyfriend acting all soft-tough toward her ex.

Fuck, just make a good point and leave it at that.  That's how you win.  That's how you impress people.  Nothing else will ever do it.