So I made a tulpa of The Sussman a few months back. He was great at first, when we were getting to know each other and things hadn't gotten sexual yet. Now all he does is look over my shoulder while I code and makes annoying remarks saying I shouldn't do that, or that this can be rewritten, or ranting about magic, or telling me that his mere existence is unscientific and ultimately destructive. And the sex, oh god, the sex.... I know it's all in my head and that I'm not really being injured, but that makes it even worse, because I won't even really die from ... what he does to my body. I tried killing him off, but he just laughs at my efforts and tells me that I will never be free. He won't let me leave my house, and he beats me every time I try, then tells me to get back to work. I'm only able to type this now because he had to go out to buy some amphetamines to keep me awake while I work on his AI project (literally, his AI, because it has his personality), so he can have immortality.
Please, /prog/, help me!
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Anonymous2013-04-29 22:11
This might do the trick: Kundalini Ball
Making a Kundalini ball is fairly simple but takes a lot of control and will power to use. First you would center your self on the charka in your dominate hand then begin to swirl it faster and faster clock wise as it begins to emanate energy. Begin to shape this energy into a ball that swirls in the palm of your hand, then guide external ki from the air around you into this ball and swirl it with the chakra energy, now remove a small chunk of Kundalini energy and guide it to your palm and surround it with ki from your wrist as you send it into the ball and make the Kundalini “ball” within your Ki ball swirl at least 600+ rotations per second, or until it emanates a bright white lighting type energy out and into the ball becoming an internal energy generator. A Kundalini ball can be used for several different things, but attack or healing seems to be the dominant use. Remember to stay strong willed and be sure of what your doing with this ball. You can’t say, “I’m going to do a ki blast, I hope this works…” You must say, “I am doing a ki blast and this is going to work.”
Now here are a few ways of healing with a Kundalini ball. After building the ball, if this is for a cut, guide the energies color into a bluish color then guide it over the cut and imagine the electricity stimulating the cells and making them reproduce at unparalleled speeds. For internal pain just guide the ball into their body and have it begin to suck in and turn the “pain” energy into “healed energy”. I visualize the ball sucking the black colored” pain energy into the spinning Kundalini energy, and then shooting back out and into the afflicted area a soothing blue colored healing energy.
Now here is a way to make a Kundalini ball a weapon. First make the ball, but add as much energy as possible, till it feels as though you can’t handle the ball any more. Now connect a stream of ki energy from your opponent to your ki ball and then shoot the ball through that stream and into and through your opponent. Remember to keep the basic idea that the ball has mass and is going to cause damage to your opponent. A Kundalini Blast isn’t as effective as some moves do to the fact it takes so long to build one up that can do some damage. DO NOT USE ONE OF THESE UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST! THIS IS A DEADLY ATTACK AND MUST BE USED IN SMALL AMOUNTS AND ONLY AGAINST SOMEONE WHO IS THREATENING YOUR LIFE, ALSO KEEP IN MIND, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAL WHAT YOU HURT…. SO PLEASE LEARN HEALING BEFORE YOU LEARN TO HURT.
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Anonymous2013-04-29 22:37
WHILE I PROGRAM! NOT WHILE I CODE!
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Anonymous2013-04-29 22:56
The only thing you can do is exclaim "Mea tulpa!"
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Anonymous2013-04-29 23:17
Dear /prog/: I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice. Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode. Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka. I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave. I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place. So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.
>>5
You could make a tulpa. I made an Osaka tulpa once. Well let me start by saying that yes, I did force myself on her.
Having built up her fear over the time I spent talking about my plans for her my other tulpa. I proceeded to have my way just as I said I would. She cried out in pain and protest. I just hit her and told her she was worthless as I thrust in and out. When I finished, I told her I hated her just to see her reaction.
For the rest of the night she was in the periphery of my vision. I could hear her sobbing but I didn't pay much attention to her I got pretty drunk later that night and I suppose that I passed out (though I don't remember how, since by that point I was gone). Well, when I woke up Monday morning, I had a pretty mean headache, but I couldn't find Osaka (my tulpa) anywhere. She's still gone and I can't feel her at all in my mind. What do you think happened to her? I mean sure, I raped her and abused her emotionally but it's not like she's real, right? So where did she go? I want to do it again but I don't want to waste time creating a whole new one so if anyone has any suggestions on how to bring her back let me know.
I genuinely believe no one has ever actually created a tulpa, and the whole thing is just some dumb myth that people perpetuate because "I WANT TO BELIEVE!"
Tulpas are the gateway to schizophrenia. Not even once.
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Anonymous2013-08-22 8:28
Make a jackie chan tulpa and have him beat The Sussman.
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Anonymous2013-08-22 8:32
You think that's bad?
Nowhere near as bad as my RMS tulpa.
I think about killing myself all the time because that fat bastard is always screaming at me about how I should change my name to GNU/Anon because I use GNU programs.
I made a Patrick Bateman tulpa. He's telling me to post in this thread before someone else does. He's going on about ``checking 'em'' and how ``sick'' these ``dubs'' are going to be. I have no idea what he's talking about.
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Anonymous2013-08-22 20:25
>>17
I tried making a tulpa once. Stopped and undid everything after I read about the ``side effects.'' That's what you get when you don't stick to purely functional programming.
I made a tulpa of Bjarne Stroustrup and he was okay at first but he started forcing me to dress like him. Thanks a lot asshole, now people in the street think Im schizophrenic. He wont stop ranting about how C++ is a "better C" and laughing maniacally while he talks about all the features he is going to add to it and how "static" is going to mean 23 different things and make code impossible to read.
>>31
Just so you know, e/g/in is a parody of e/b/in, created by some stupid fuck who probably came from /b/. It's meant to make fun of people who come from re/g/g/it (like you), not some kind of ``meme'' analog to your ``/g/reentext''.
So please act like a normal person and stop picking up every single catchphrase you see on the Internet or I'll have to ask you to fuck off back to /g/.
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Anonymous2013-08-22 23:02
>>22 here. My tulpa's bugging me again. Guess I ought to post.
>>32
Wrong. I've wrote the history of this before. It started as the quite obviously forced meme attempt `she epin /b/'. This referred to the box slut, of course. It only stuck around for about a week there, and never surfaced again from what I saw until it came here. Me and the original lel-cunt were probably the only ones to remember it, but I've posted this before, so you have no excuse for not knowing your reddittumblr history.
>>35
What? That's not how epin came to be. Also, I was the first one who ever made a LLEEEELLL-like post. It was irony that got out of hand. I've excused myself many times for that reason.
The safest way to kill a tulpa is to actively ignore it and refuse to recognize its existence. That said, saying that their existence is unscientific is flawed. Explanations for why they exist are easy to come across and proof for their existence can be easily obtain in the fact that they are repeatable. That said, the fact that they are sentient implies that creating and destroying them for the sake of science just to prove their existence would be a bit amoral.
Of course, everything you said in your post was a lie, because clearly nobody in their right mind would make a tulpa out of the Sussman.