free gnu

#define DA_GNU_99

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void)
{
    void **anus = &&troff;

    goto *anus;
    puts("DONKEY DOT COM");
troff:
    puts("WAHAY, YOU GOT ALL ONE HUNDRED NOTES FROM THIS WORLD");
    return 0;
}

Why does every GNU program have so much cruft? I thought C/POSIX were supposed to be simple?

#define DA_GNU_2000

#include <gstdio.h>
#include <gunistd.h>

#define _(gstring) gettext(gstring)

const char *gnuprogname;

int gmain(int nArks, char *pisszvArgs)
{
    static struct option longjohnsilver[] = {
        { _("help"), no_argument, 0, 'h' },
        { _("version"), no_argument, 0, 'v' },
        { 0, 0, 0, 0 }
    };
    void **anus = &&gtroff;

    while (getopt_long(nArks, pisszvArgs, "hv", longjohnsilver,
                &freesoftware) != -1)
        switch (c) {
        case 'h':
            puts(_("GNU"));
            return 0;
        case 'v':
            puts(_("FREE SOFTWARE"));
            return 0;
        default:
            ;
        }
    goto *anus;
    gputs(_("DONKEY DOT COM"));
gtroff:
    gputs(_("WAHAY, YOU GOT ALL ONE HUNDRED NOTES FROM THIS WORLD"));
    return 0;
}

goto

>>2
RMS never really cared for the Unix philosophy. His goal was to write a free OS.
GNU will be able to run Unix programs, but will not be identical to Unix. We will make all improvements that are convenient, based on our experience with other operating systems. In particular, we plan to have longer filenames, file version numbers, a crashproof file system, filename completion perhaps, terminal-independent display support, and eventually a Lisp-based window system through which several Lisp programs and ordinary Unix programs can share a screen. Both C and Lisp will be available as system programming languages. We will have network software based on MIT's chaosnet protocol, far superior to UUCP. We may also have something compatible with UUCP.

Here's what the GNU coding style would have looked like if ricky stallman had eaten fewer donuts in his childhood:
#include <stdio.h>

char *strchr(const char *s, int c)
 { while (*s != '\0')
    { if (*s == (char) c)
       { return (char *) s; }
      s++; }
   return 0; }

size_t strlen(const char *s)
 { size_t n;
   for (n = 0; s[n] != '\0'; n++)
    {}
   return n; }

char *strcpy(char *to, const char *from)
 { char *base = to;
   while ((*to++ = *from++))
    {}
   return base; }

int main(void)
 { puts(strchr("get your anus", 't'));
   printf("%lu\n", (unsigned long int) strlen("get your anus"));
   return 0; }

>>6
for (n = 0; s[n] != '\0'; n++)
{}
X
for (n = 0; s[n] != '\0'; n++)
;
O

>>5
RMS never really cared for the Unix philosophy.
Yet he did the most used Unix system.

>>8
10/10
pants were shat

 dMMMMMMP dMP dMP dMMMMMP         dMMMMMMMMb .aMMMb  dMMMMb        dMMMMMP dMP dMP .dMMMb dMMMMMMP       
   dMP   dMP dMP dMP             dMP"dMP"dMPdMP"dMP dMP dMP           dMP dMP dMP dMP" VP   dMP          
  dMP   dMMMMMP dMMMP           dMP dMP dMPdMMMMMP dMP dMP           dMP dMP dMP  VMMMb    dMP           
 dMP   dMP dMP dMP             dMP dMP dMPdMP dMP dMP dMP       dK .dMP dMP.aMP dP .dMP   dMP            
dMP   dMP dMP dMMMMMP         dMP dMP dMPdMP dMP dMP dMP        VMMMP"  VMMMP"  VMMMP"   dMP             
                                                                                                         
   dMP dMP dMP .aMMMb  dMMMMb dMMMMMMP dMMMMMP dMMMMb         .aMMMb                                     
  dMP dMP dMP dMP"dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMP     dMP VMP        dMP"dMP                                     
 dMP dMP dMP dMMMMMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMMMP   dMP dMP        dMMMMMP                                      
dMP.dMP.dMP dMP dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMP     dMP.aMP        dMP dMP                                       
VMMMPVMMP" dMP dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMMMMMP dMMMMP"        dMP dMP                                        
                                                                                                         
    dMMMMb  dMMMMb  dMP dMMMMb dMMMMMMP dMMMMMP dMMMMb         dMMMMb  dMMMMb  dMP dMP dMP dMMMMMP dMMMMb
   dMP.dMP dMP.dMP amr dMP dMP   dMP   dMP     dMP.dMP        dMP VMP dMP.dMP amr dMP dMP dMP     dMP.dMP
  dMMMMP" dMMMMK" dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMMMP   dMMMMK"        dMP dMP dMMMMK" dMP dMP dMP dMMMP   dMMMMK" 
 dMP     dMP"AMF dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMP     dMP"AMF        dMP.aMP dMP"AMF dMP  YMvAP" dMP     dMP"AMF  
dMP     dMP dMP dMP dMP dMP   dMP   dMMMMMP dMP dMP        dMMMMP" dMP dMP dMP    VP"  dMMMMMP dMP dMP   
                                                                                                         

>>8
You missed the point. The Unix philosophy leads to a structure where the individual units are small and can be easily composed (connect the units to form a complex task) and analyzed. RMS's philosophy was that GNU should be a general purpose system for all, he designed GNU to have more functions than a standard Unix system.

You see people who write, "GNU is bloated" which is true when compared to other Unix systems. This would be a point if the goal for GNU was to be Unix. The point of GNU is to be useful for all which means it'll have features that serve a small audience.

>>1
A free canoe? Where?

GNU'S NOT UNIX
                 USEFUL