PHP is shit, JS is crap, so what is good?

If PHP and JS are bad, how am I supposed to be a good programmer?
Perl is even worse. What decent alternative can you present for scripting your websites?

>>1
If you want to be a good programmer it's symple, just use Symta.
>>11
it didn't get there by being a piece of shit like python, perl, ruby, lua, haskell, or c++.
It got there by being a sufficiently bug ridden ad-hoc half formally specified implementation of half of Scheme (complete with pig disgusting K&R style syntax), available today in the new Netscape Navigator web browser!

>>15
Don't you mean G-d?