fj.mail, 18/12/2009 16:05:47:
Mat Dickie waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were scientists in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to game industry were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Mat was an artist for fourteen years. When he was young he played the games and he said to dad "I want to be on the game development daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY SCIENTISTS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the catholic school he knew there were scientists
"This is artists" the radio crackered. "You must fight the scientists!"
So Mat gotted his art form by the throat and draged it to its apex.
"HE GOING TO REPLACE US" said the scientists
"I will discuss with him" said the cyberscientist and he fired the scientific arguments. Mat deflected at him and tried to deliver innovative concepts that simply cannot be found anywhere else. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to discuss.
"No! I must replace the scientists" he shouted
The radio said "No, Mat. You are the scientists"
And then Mat was a game developer.
Many miles away, there was a beautiful and intelligent Artist named Dosii.
She had loved Mat the artist, and he her.
But on checking her communication device one fate-filled day,
which usually resulted in a cheeky little smirk and a chuckle,
this day brought a choked whelp and a horrified stare.
Mat the artist was dead, the device exclaimed heartlessly.
Why, and How, she questioned the device, but there was no response.
Slowly, the small stereo indicator on the radio faded out, as the music faded to static.
Mat the scientist could not understand what had happened, all he knew was that it was very dark, and he was alone.
Haunted by the Great Loss of things that had not yet been, and might now never, he set up an advanced series of experiments, to try to uncover what had been lost.
But no matter how hard he tried, predicting the future even of the past was NP-complete, and a completely intractible puzzle.
Plus it was very dark, and he could hardly read the notes as he scribed them.
Three animals of the zodiac had almost past, as Mat turned to recall his dying moments as an artist.
He had been very foolish, even as an artist, to dare try to predict what the future held.
A small splinter of doubt had grasped him, and the self-fulfilling-prophecy of him not being good enough, had fulfilled itself.
....Comes to the realization, that i may well have been trolled all along... If not just here and now..
In either case, and if that is the case, those guys must really be desperate. Any and every chance they get, just to be just another disappointment..
Maybe that is just the fate of an Alpha, to be forever plagued with stupid mistakes, and never to learn a thing.
If i have something, guess who wants it, you're wife must be horrified or just plain deluded, because we all know i'm single..
Do you really believe that i could outwit a group of people time and time again? No, of course you don't, but probably everytime i've caught you offguard. I guess i should just wish you the best with your lie of a life.. And sincerely hope it's just some coincidence, though quite one it would be
Name:
Anonymous2013-01-15 7:27
...It all adds up in the here and now, but still back then is far too sacred for it to have been them then.
It seems i may have even stumbled upon the (deranged) method in the madness. I'm sure most everyone knows or is at least familiar with the saying 'My enemy's enemies are my Friends'.... And i guess if you throw in a bit of jealosy, and a superiority complex, lo-and-behold the motives are there. Especially for a self-confessed 'Real(tarded)-Outcast', who will no-doubt struggle to make any Real friends. Oh the sweet Irony, as It seems I will be the Only Real Friend you have ever had.
Name:
Anonymous2013-01-15 7:55
Derek K. Smart is much cooler than Mat Dickie. And he is the only one nigger game developer, making games more complicated than Haskell, so complex that you start believing he is a super-Jew, not a nigger.
Swing my weight around Begin the WindStorm"
I immediately imagined a grotesquely obese person swinging his ``weight'' around creating admirable turbulence in the air, like when a large truck passes by on a highway.
|Friends come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate?|
-> Enjoy never making a friend on your own merits, i guess you found a backdoor, but i still think that is a piss-poor excuse..
And really, how do your 'friends' feel, on a diet of hate? Sick and Degraded..? I know, because i was once a 'friend', remember?
|Don't hate the world, hate yourself ?| (possibly the worst advice i have ever heard..)
Even that cretin greg, Neither of us could see it back then, but we were already under attack from multiple camoflauged bogeys...
Not even Plato's Ring of Gyges could have saved us..
even poor old k--h, who i tend to overlook in this great shitstorm, totally used up.
I know not all things are equal, but i had already known when we left to go camping, that i 'had to' break up with you. I remember texting you quite a lot out there, and it kind of sucked that i couldn't manage to let on what was up.
I guess your mum never told you, she was probably drunk when she told my dad at the 'Hall', and maybe i should have just ignored it, but I swear, i got the message that i 'needed' to break up with you. 'She's 14, your 17, No.' basically.
And yeah, moping in the tent in lovely weather wasn't much fun at all, i think i ended up just switching the phone off.
So anyway, there was this really nice chick, f---a that came out camping aswell (like a decent sized/fairly popular campground).
She was really nice (too), and i wasn't really expecting anything, just enjoying a bit of fem company ;)
But then one night her ex (? or something) was there, and they were drinking so we sat around for a bit, and i guess you already know what happens next ..... (she was already mad at him for something). And then, that was that.
At least i had a simple reason to split now. It seemed easier than explaining everything. Though even when i told you, i kind of stuck around, we didn't just break up. I didn't really have a reason to dislike you, and i didn't.
and Really, i didn't get much of a chance to explain anything anyway. When i got home I switched my phone back on, and i think rather quickly, like within 1 day, was it in the morning(?), you called, and the first thing after hello was "Did you cheat on me?", "Yes."....
I don't really even know why i hung around, I guess you were my first girlfriend, and it's not like they print out rule-books for these things. I knew it wasn't right, i guess. It was complicated.
I guess after that it was rare if i got a word in, and any that i did were seldom heard. I guess i just hung around to learn my lesson, kind of hoping that i might get a chance to explain. Yet this is the first time i have, to anyone at all.. Ten years on...
ah well, it's probably like #1 said "it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway."
Kind of curious as to the source of #1, but i've learnt not to expect too much..
The funny thing is that i never even did want to break up at all. Like some strange courtesy, i'd oblige to what seemed necessary, and only realise how much hurt was involved once it was...
#25 oops you were number 2, i kinda forgot about her =). They'd say she wasn't much to look at, but shit she was fun. We Rolled this six-wheeled amphibious 'thing' with her driving and me in the passanger seat, and yeah i almost thought i was going to die. I had to jump while the thing was on its side, still rolling, and from the inside still i got more than half caught under it. But my head was safe =D. I think she was also actually the first that i had to break up with.. We both knew it, so i guess it wasn't so bad then. After just a few days of it being begun, it was over.
And to be honest, her body wasn't bad either. I guess you could read the troubles in her life, written on her face. But when she got a little giddy, then it turned to quite a beautiful smile. Like the problems had just slipped away.. It really was something to see, though i guess very few could see it.
As for the second, I guess it was strange, you were never sad, always just angry. And then as you lumped your problem with his, my friend of no end of troubles, i guess i lumped his with you. You were using him to get at me, yet there were already so many things between me and him, this was just barely another.. It was more like he was using you, as the first half-legitimate reason he had ever had, for all the things he had already done, and more...
Eventually, under almost constant attack, I had just given up. You would never understand, and no pissy little insult would change that. You weren't even sad anyway, as far as i could tell, so i guessed you would never even need to. If he wants to cry about losing a friend, i would just laugh, i knew he was losing a friend, but i wasn't. that friend i had lost long ago..
It was kind of sad, once again i knew what 'had' to happen, and i hoped that the others would understand one day. Most of my closest friends were also 'kind-of' his, and to save a whole heap of bullshit I just cut everyone off. I knew he would have no problem using them to get to me, and since it was the only way he could, I would strike first. I just needed to be free. I had nothing against them, and i hoped they might know that. I think he knew that i would be back, and he stuck around as far as i know. So i stayed away...
As you might have guessed, this is where dosii enters the picture.. And where i guess it hurts most, i don't think i even want to cover this ground yet, i'm tearing up and i haven't even started....
Suffice to say, that if he really was such a great guy, he could've just let go, gone and made some friends, and been happy.
...I mean, why would i want to keep a 'friend' that makes me want to kill myself? I've had a few friends, even i know that isn't normal (Not to mention laughing about it).. At some point, someone has to look after me. And ain't noone else (bar my family, god bless) going to.
oh-no, B& for being a spam-bot... but i'm as real as real can be. and I couldn't make this up if i wanted to..
Ok, so one last post then? ty.. [it's all been in this thread +saged anyway, so whaa?]
Poor old dosii. I never realised this before, just how much she meant when we first hit it off.. But really, by the end i was pretty unstable, almost to the point of barely knowing what I was doing at times.
I still think there was some horrible trick, to do with those 'odd frogs' i heard at night, they always sounded more like they were talking, and though that probably just sounds completely insane, I wouldn't put it past them. I know my mind. There were lots of frogs, and most of them were normal, quite musical actually. These were obvious, and kind of strange, with no real rhythm. I've not had a problem with them, before nor since, nor hearing other things ever really. I thought i heard my name called once is probably the closest thing that comes to mind, but that was it.
...Looking back, there might be one other explanation, i think i'd need to do an abc news search to confirm the dates, but i digress.
My dad's brother has this horrible person for a wife, i think she was mean enough that her own daughter's boyfriend did kill himself, and while they say it was supposed to be him playing a joke, and he slipped, i guess if it was there would've been someone there watching. Most jokes aren't very funny when you're the only person in the room. He was hung, one way or another.
And yes, every so often we have had visits from these wonderful people. Though one time they brought a bit of weed with them, and like people here say, not to trust dodgy sources. Knowing that my mum and dad would, i had played the role of the "king's food taster", and had returned with a warning of Grinding teeth / feeling strange, ie some form of speed. It was around the time the news was reporting some new crap was around, that 'meow' or whatever, said to cause psychosis.
I guess the real proof, was that after they left, whatever plan they had foiled, we had a visit from my nice aunty and nan. I was the only one home, not feeling too hot. I could see it was them, i knew who they were, but somehow, i thought they were some sort of imposters. But I couldn't understand how that could be, so i took no action. They were perhaps acting strangely, but i don't suppose i was particularly normal that day either. I just sat on the porch, very quiet, and kind of afraid..
I guess it does take a bit of courage to even look back sometimes though. Mistakes can be pretty painful. But as long as they are mistakes, then at least you can learn from them.
And I guess right now, i'm really self-concious of the light I paint myself in. It's not like i'm perfect, I might've hopefully taken a step towards there, but who knows how far it is. I've made mistakes, no doubt i'll make more, but hopefully they will be smaller, and at least they won't be the same.
You really want to know what I saw (on whatever horrible shit that was, see #41)?
Two people, that i have known all my life, and would easily trust them with it (my nice aunty and nan, & my life)... I actually thought they were 'somehow' the Culprits of this story, no other than My Dad's Brother, And His Wife ! And no-doubt I have understated how afraid i was, really, i was quietly shitting myself. I went and googled hypnotic drugs, but the search only returned psychotic drugs. And my poor old online friend didn't have it easy either, though i guess it was a blessing in some ways that she wasn't here with me, because that could only have been worse, assuming everything else still played out like it did.
And really, what could have happened if i didn't test that stuff for my parents? I only smoked a little, and diluted it with tobacco. They would have rolled a joint, and smoked it straight between them. Can you imagine?
Even when i did, the 'Culprits' were not impressed either.. Not that they ever really are. They are miserable when everyone else is happy, and only happy when someone else is miserable.
So really, i think even if they had just given their daughters boyfriend a small dose of that shit, then they may as well had killed him.
And yes, that seems pretty bloody stupid to me too. Anyway, i hope the police may have at least caught wind of this, and if they investigate well that's all the better. For everyone. I'd be keeping an eye on them if i was in that position anyway. But i don't want the police to waste resources. If they've read this, then most likely they'll be on their best behaviour (which still probably isn't even all that good anyway)
>> 2^6
...It's kind of funny, because i only have a couple of sticks (you know, made of wood..) for weapons ^^ only really used them for shoo-ing (pet) cows ^^ but i don''t suppose i have to do anything really... the world is the world... it will do what it does.. ^^