original javascript ``troll'' here

i would like to extend my displeasure to those who have been impersonating me all this time. by your incessant posts you are annoying [spoilers]/prog/[/spoilers]riders. what good does that do? okay, so let's start with some facts we already know:

javascript is fast: if you don't believe me, look at the shootout. see any other dynamic languages up there with V8? i don't! V8 is the most innovative JIT compiler of the modern age, reaching levels never before imagined in computer science.

javascript is elegant: closures and first-class functions, callback-driven paradigms, prototypical inheritance and regex support are bleeding-edge. innovative concepts like generators and weak references are soon to be added

javascript is active: many well-respected corporations donate valuable time to the development of javascript in a well-controlled environment with careful consideration placed into feature adoption

javascript is efficient: with performance and memory requirements similar to the JVM, javascript provides a competitive runtime footprint suitable for the demanding needs of the enterprise market, but available to everybody!

javascript is everywhere: browsers, browsers, browers! one day you will not even have a traditional operating system anymore; you will instead boot straight into google chrome with full leverage of the javascript ecosystem at your fingertips

there. you ``faggots'' don't need to repeat this every single time! once per thread is enough. even worse, you aren't backing up your claims. they may be 100% true, but js detractors aren't even going to put in the effort to read your posts much less switch to javascript if you don't take the 3 seconds it takes to post some benchmarks. please, don't turn javascript into a joke like rails!

thank you for your time, and happy noding!

I can't disagree that it isn't fast, but the rest of the things are thoroughly addressed in the anti-JS kopipe (who has it?).

javascript is fast
Sure, so is Java

In fact, it's roughly 3 times slower than C,
http://shootout.alioth.debian.org/u32/which-programs-are-fastest.php

javascript is elegant

     db.open(... fn() {
         db.collection(.... fn() {
              db.query(...... fn() {
              });
          });
      });
``Elegant'' as fuck. C syntax is not meant to be used for shit like this.

Read SICP.

javascript is active
So is Java. That doesn't make Java the best programming language ever. Design patterns sure are the best, since lots of people worked on them! XD

javascript is efficient
You compared it to the JVM, why the fuck are you saying it's efficient? Try running a ``JS animation'' in a PC with a P4 (which is roughly 2x faster than ~60% of smartphones), watch how it eats your CPU slowly.

javascript is everywhere
So are Java, Reddit and Jews.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argumentum_ad_populum

IHBFUCKINGT

innovative concepts like generators and weak references are soon to be added
If my favorite programming language were worse than FIOC, I'd kill myself.

[spoilers]
typical Hymie Niggers javashit kike fagstorm

>>1
I have opened a few shootout tests at random, and in each and every one SBCL, Racket, Perl and Python were way ahead of v8.

Javascript is so verbose, I wonder why v8 does not perform on par with the just slightly more verbose Java machine yet.

javascript is elegant: closures and first-class functions, callback-driven paradigms, prototypical inheritance and regex support are bleeding-edge. innovative concepts like generators and weak references are soon to be added
Bleeding edge for 1970s maybe.  Innovative for 1980s maybe.  Also prototypal inheritance (aka chained fucking hashtables) is nothing more than a simple hack which was put there in place of a real inheritance model and was left because Netscape never thought much of javascript, which kind of explains much about its lack of features and general shittiness (they were only willing to pay for one intern to work on it).

>>1
But you are good salesman, I must admit.  Why waste your time on programming?

>>6
I take it you were looking at the "Being a Useless Piece of Shit" benchmarks: I agree wholeheartedly there.

>>9
I have opened a couple more (also at random).  One did not mention v8 and the other had v8 somewhere at the bottom in the ``bad output'' section.  Go be fat somewhere else.

>>10
Looks like you lost the argument since all you can throw is insults and fallacies.

Why don't you pack up and head back to /g/?

>>11
That goes for >>9-san as well.

careful consideration placed into feature adoption
That was a little over the top. Everyone should have noticed the troll at least here. But still, that post made me rage a little.

>>1

PREACH IT!
http://brendaneich.com/brendaneich_content/uploads/CapitolJS.021.png

>>13
Oh god, I skipped that part.

WHBT.

>>14
Go away, >>1-san.

>2012
>client-side scripting

hahahahahaha

no multicore, stfu

>>17
Multicore the JS way is when you launch a separate node.js per core and use nginx to load-balance.

>>17
retard

BREAKING NEWS: Javascript faster than C!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdwwvps4J9A

the future just arrived! native is history.

>>20
Watch the video, he says it was pretty hard to reach C in terms of performance.

I got tired at the 20 minute mark, so I closed the video.

IHBT

>>16
back to the imageboards shitstain

>>22
Don't try to curtail my fucking rights cretin.

>>23
you're not >>16, you can stay

>>23
stop fucking imitating me, cretin. FUCK YOU

someday everyone on earth will carry v8 runtime in their pocket, on their eyes, in their car, and tv.

if they haven't switched to javascript now, they never will. they are like paul graham says' the blub programmer' who seeks his own comfort above all else. they lack the capacity to write great programs, so they hide behind obscure languages like haskell, and when no one uses their work, they can always blame it on something other than themselves. They couldn't make the next Google maps or 280 north even if they tried. So I will.

okay at least now I know you're trolling