/prog/ Lifestyles Thread [Part |]

Tell us about your lifestyle /prog/!

I'm a fat pedophile who has never even held hands. I haven't showered in three weeks, and I haven't left the house in a month. I get my groceries in huge quantities (50 lbs bag of rice, restaurant size cans of tomatoes, etc...) just so I don't have to go to the store. I make 95% of my money off of web programming and running shady porn sites, and when I tried to write a ``marketing'' bot, it was a fucking disaster. I am also an alcoholic; I have to drink in the morning or else I'll get the shakes. The longest I've ever held down a regular job was 3 months, and that was working for my father, who fired me for being incredibly incompetent and almost killing someone due to laziness.

What's your life like?

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch