I was fired today.

I was fired today. They told me that they were ``downsizing'' and gave me three weeks severance pay. Sure, it was just a job writing shitty monkey code that connects a button to a database, but it still hurts. My boss said that I could list him as a reference, but he's a fuckstick, so I doubt it will help me get a job. Looks like I'll be scrubbing toilets with Kodak-chan. I was planning to watch a shit load of anime and masturbate for the entire weekend, but my dick won't work and I want to kill myself instead.

I hate my life and I hate programming.

Hope you're feeling better, OP.  The best thing about the programming world is that you can be working for peanuts building some start-up's shit idea or some university's slave labor research program, get fired or quit, and find a job doing basic CSS/Javascript shit  that pays $40/hr. 

The best thing about getting fired/quitting a job is that you now have a lot of free time to make your life as awesome as possible.  I'd suggest women, wine, and workout time.  Learn some new skills. Take it slow and you'll be rollin' on optimism.  Then you slide into job interviews or freelance gigs with huge balls of confidence and skills you've refined for the new job market.  Anyone who wouldn't hire you is an idiot who doesn't recognize talent, and you wouldn't want to work for an idiot anyway.