The only way to beat Jews

is to be a Jew. We should:

- Change our surnames to -berg, -stein, -man, etc.
- Identify ourselves as Jews

Before you think I'm crazy, think about it: if they can't figure out who's Jew and who's not Jew, they can't conspire against us!

The only way to beat pedophilia…

…is to be a pedophile. We should:

- Change our surnames to pedophile ones: Goldberg, -stein, -man, etc.
- Lure children away with sweets and rape them in dark basement, then drink their blood.

Before you think I'm crazy, think about it: if we rape-murder our children, then pedophiles won't get them!