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spoiler: god wrote the universe in javascript

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:40

We are but prototypes for a much larger system

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:41

Everything is a var, and time is merely the application of functions

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:44

a woman is half the creation of man, and half the creation of god. each of us bestows our dreams and hearts upon her, and she is garbage collector for our sperm

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:45

Man once bowed to nature,

with the power of javascript, we stand with nature as equals

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:49

Javascript, the great giver, opens the whole universe to us, in the space of a single mind

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:54


Knowledge is partial, because our intellect is an instrument, it is only a part of us, it can give us information about things which can be divided and analysed, and whose properties can be classified part by part. But javascript is perfect, and knowledge which is partial can never be a knowledge of it.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:55

No wonder this world is such a piece of shit.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:57

While your body may submit to the instruments of time, your javascript shall persist for eons. Your blood may fade, but the machine shall sing stories in your name, and that song shall be the foundation of a perfect world.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-26 23:58

God waits for his temple to be built with javascript, but men only know fioc and perl

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 2:22

That would explain a lot of things, actually.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 8:03

No wonder this world is a piece of untyped, unstructured shit with no modularization and static checks

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 12:44

The universe is infinite.

% node -e '(function(x) { return x(x); })(function(x) { return x(x); })'

[eval]:1
(function(x) { return x(x); })(function(x) { return x(x); })
                                       ^
RangeError: Maximum call stack size exceeded


Javashit is not even tail-call optimized!

Clearly the universe was written in Lisp.

((λ (x) (x x)) (λ (x) (x x)))

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 12:52

>>12
for (;;);
Optimized. ^^

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 12:58

Which browser is the universe running in?

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:02

>>14
A bug-free HTML5 browser.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:25

>>15
A bug-free HTML5 browser.
Such a thing doesn't exist. In other worlds, the universe is not real. Following ``cogito ergo sum'', I must be real, therefore I am God and my life as a human is a dream/hallucination.

When I awake, I will create the universe, but I'll probably do it in C# with XNA, because let's face it, DirectX is the only suitable graphics library for rendering the universe. Since it's such a big project, I'll probably recruit some Xbox devs from EA Games.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:25

>>!5
"" == false

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:27

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:31

>>11
it still works. if it's stupid but it works, it ain't stupid.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:40

>>18
Contrary to popular belief, performance does not matter when running the universe. Its inhabitants have no consciousness during the clock ticks between update cycles, so they perceive time as flowing smoothly and infinitely, even between restarts and server upgrades.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 13:48

NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING
NO THREADING

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 14:39

>>21
onreadystatechange (and various other, less effective methods) says you're wrong.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 14:44

>>22
How is that threading?

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 14:52

>>23
How is it not? What are you trying to achieve that is impossible with the threading capabilities of JavaScript?
You can construct a fork()/CreateThread() function with event listeners and that kinda shit alone. I know because I've done it before. setTimeout also works for most stuff you normally need but is not true threading, there are several things you can't do with setTimeout.

If you are talking about load balancing and shit like that, why use JS in the first place? It's not like you're going to write an OS with it.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 14:54

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 15:38

>>24
Do you even know what threads are? It's an event loop. Everything still runs in one execution context.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 15:39

>>26
s/It/Javashit

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 18:28

>>16
GNAA is shit, use ncurses.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-27 20:12

>>28
ncurses is Terribe! as well. Libertarians shouldn't be allowed to program.

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