PHP, HTTP, Etc

Over the last month I've taught myself html, CSS, and JS in hopes of being able to create a functioning website for my dad. The site itself is design but now I am becoming aware of the complication that goes into actually hosting a website and making it interactive.

I've been doing some digging on the PHP website in an attempt to make the website's forms email the information found in the forms. In order to even get it up and running though I need to install the apache client and get it up and running as a local host on which the PHP can run.

Can anyone, in your own words, explain http and php? Or perhaps provide me to some newbie friendly resources?

Oh how little I know...

the complication that goes into actually hosting a website and making it interactive.
It's not hard to register a domain name, buy server hosting, and install a CMS like Wordpress or something.
And buy a book on LAMP if you really want to do it yourself. But most web hosts will have everything already set up for you.

PHP is shit.

Dynamic sites are shit.

Use Lisp and templates.

>>3 which lisp? I use newLISP

>>4
Common Lisp or Scheme, of course.

PHP
lawl just use C. hint: getenv()

>>5 Plebs Lisp is shit. newLISP is clearly the master race here.