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node.js makes the impossible possible

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 4:58

in this thread we post programs that used to require super complicated shit before god gave us javascript

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 5:03

etherpad was a live-updating collaborative text-editor. Basically a better version of google docs/wave. The original was written by some of silicon valley's best programmers using 100k lines of java and scala. The new version was written by random volunteers in only 9k lines of javascript and uses 3% of the memory.


https://github.com/pita/etherpad-lite

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 5:13

dustin moskovitz, facebook cofounder, uses node.js

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 7:53

>>1 Erlang > nodejs
>>2 argument by authority
/thread

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 10:37

>>2
There's a reason it's called ``lite''.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 13:28

it makes using insane amounts of ram possible

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:11

>>4

You don't get to point out fallacies and then put up a statement without a hint of an argument.

For the average web developer, Node.js is definitely worth checking out even if you might later resort to Erlang. For one Node.js takes no more than two hours to get into whilst Erlang probably a week or more. Yes Erlang is built for the job and performs consistently faster but for small projects it not worth the effort. Larger projects would be a totally different story but that doesn't strike me as being a domain that node.js was intended to cater for. Also if you are going to name Erlang you need to also name Snap and Yesod (Haskell frameworks).

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:15

>>6

Not in my experience. I run an instance on a 128MB box perfectly fine. Perhaps you are thinking of Java instead?

Also, RAM is the cheapest and most easily upgradeable resource right now. It's generally better to have it consume lots of RAM and as little processing as possible instead of the other way round.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:21

>>4 Erlang > nodejs
HAHAHA OH WOW

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:28

The only good thing about Node.js, no matter how silly it may sound, is JavaScript.

Node.js didn't invent anything. You can do the same fake non-blocking ¨webapps¨ with Ruby's EventMachine.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:37

>>10

async is way easier when your language was designed for it, when all your libraries support it default, and when streams and events are language primitives.
>>3

argument by evidence

>>9
my biggest problem with erlang is that basic shit like text processing doesn't work, and the whole architecture is built for a ton of upfront design for scaling.

If you know that your software is going to have to run across the world and satelites and never fail, then erlang is a great choice.

but 99% of projects don't need to scale. stuff like node and python succeed in web programming because you can just dive right in and get productive asap. You don't have to waste time worrying about a problem you don't have.

Once you finally have to worry about scaling, you can probably start hiring more people anyway.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 17:44

>>11
>async is way easier when your language was designed for it, when all your libraries support it default, and when streams and events are language primitives.
Node uses C libs for most of its async stuff. Same for EventMachine.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-18 18:28

>>2
Well I could rewrite it in 100 lines of Common Lispu and nobody would give a shit.

Fuck off back to /r/israel, please.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 1:15

>>2
To me, that sounds more like an indictment of Java than an endorsement of node.js.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 2:17

Node.JS Is Stupid And If You Use It So Are You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e1zzna-dNw

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 14:56

>>13
fuck off, nigger

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 15:03

>>15
That guy is such a moron, he should be shot. His existence is a bane to humanity.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 15:37

That Node.js is cancer article got deleted. How sad.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 16:14

>>17
u made bro?

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 16:48

>>18
Which one? Is it still in Google cache?

Name: sage 2012-08-19 16:54

node.js makes the possible impossible

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 16:54

>>20
The one by Ted Something. And it's no longer in google's cache.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 19:02

After reading Ted's rant, and then reading about the reactions (memoizing fibs), I knew node.js was the new PHP.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 19:13

>>2

But Etherpad Lite is slow as balls, while the original Etherpad is snappy and fast. I'm using Etherpad for Mozilla stuff and it's incredible. ``Lite" is anything but.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 19:51

>>18,22
https://www.semitwist.com/mirror/node-js-is-cancer.html

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-19 23:09

>>25
(Yes, I know there's a closed form solution. Shouldn't you be in front of a mirror somewhere, figuring out how to introduce yourself to her?.)
Fuck you and die you cock sucking nigger. I won't stand to take your neurotypical bullshit you cock gurgling piece of fucking shit. EAT SHIT AND DIE.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 3:24

>>26
You are this mad.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 5:14

>>26
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 5:42

>>25
A long time ago, the original neckbeards decided that it was a good idea to chain together small programs that each performed a specific task, and that the universal interface between them should be text.
Node.js is shit but this guy is obviously a brainwashed UNIXer.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 11:44

>>29
``All Text Errthang'' is why people use XML as a shitty database instead of a markup language for documents.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 14:08

>>27
Fuck you faggot.

>>28
Eat shit, nigger.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 14:25

>>31
Back to /b/, "please"

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-20 18:53

>>15
Wow, this guy must be a node.js devotee who wants to make it look like node.js skeptics are morbidly incompetent.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-21 2:56

>>30
Nah, Unix jockeys hate XML too (you can't grep|sed|awk it).  Replace XML with CSV or similar and you may have a point...

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-21 4:02

JOCKEY

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 19:07

node.js is the first programming language to follow the unix phisolophy

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 19:09

>>32
Fuck shit, niggerfaggot.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 19:14

>>36
s/unix/emacs/

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 21:19

>>3
dustin moskovitz
Are you sure he isn't Jewish?

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 21:43

hello

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 21:53

>>40
javascript sucks

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 22:55

HTML5 Web Workers will make node.js even better.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-22 23:23

>>39                      `
>implying there is a single Zogbook employee that is not a member of the tribe

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-23 0:47

python/ruby/anything else === goy
javascript = jew
Don't change these.
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