coding in British

perchance (£condition) {
    what_about (£variable) {
        perhaps £possibility:
            //Code here
            splendid;
        perhaps £other_possibility:
            //Code here
            splendid;
        on_the_off_chance:
            //Code here
            splendid;
    }
} otherwise {
    would_you_mind {
        // Code here
    } actually_i_do_mind (Exception £e) {
        // Politely move on
        cheerio('Message');
    }
}

I lol'd at this thread so hard I kinda want to rip my balls off now. But I won't actually rip them off, because that would just be silly. Therefore I will just elongate their containers outside my pants a little.