Why is it that when I try to have sex with a girl, my dick always goes limp? I can masturbate just fine, even to 3D (not actual porn though). I hate this shit. Why does this shit always happen to me? Why must I be sexually divergent? I just want to have some fun. I am tired of anime and video games; I want to get a life, but it seems "normal" life is not suited for me, despite me appearing "normal" to everyone else. Do I just have to let a train run over me and see what happens? It seems inevitable now.
Name:
Anonymous2012-06-09 15:05
There must be a bug in your penis subroutine. Try patching it with something like this: void penis()
{
for (;;) {
if (attractive_female_sighted())
erect_penis();
if (bladder_is_full())
urinate();
else if (orgasming()) /* 'else' so we don't ejaculate and urinate at the same time */
ejaculate();
}
}
>>5
No shit I am a narcissist. What's wrong with that? I wouldn't mind a narcissist girlfriend. In fact I find it hot. Sadly, they never want me, because I appear too normal to them ;__;
I always get the submissive ones, even though I am the one who wants to get kicked in the balls/teeth by an angry tsundere with high heels. No one ever suspects I would let them shit in my mouth and be their fucktoy all day and night.. or maybe they do, and I simply am too ordinary for them. All I want is a psycho bitch in my life :3
Name:
Anonymous2012-06-09 17:08
>>2 for (;;)
For some reason, this always makes me feel uneasy. I always feel like in the middle of the ";;" is some uninitialized memory that happens to be nonzero and the entire loop is depending on that. That's why I used to use "while(1)" but then I realized the compiler could be faking that too, and further realized that everything is virtual, even reality, and that our reasoning is shaped by the preponderances of our experiences. Now I use "for(;;)" because it's faster to write and I have learned to embrace the uneasiness of the illogicality of "assume it's good until proven otherwise" despite the fact that that particular mindset has caused me nothing but pain. Then I realized that maybe I enjoy said pain. Then, after still some thinking, I realized that maybe there would be less pain altogether if I simply felt and didn't think so much.
But rather I would not code at all. Rather I would fly to the moon and play among the stars. But alas, I am stuck in the bottom of the massive ocean, the pure crystal-clear water penetrating my lungs perpetually, cutting deep within my fragile soul.
Name:
Anonymous2012-06-09 17:13
>>7
Also, we will be simulating a faster processor within a processor some day. You heard it here first, from the mouth of a divergent god. The pieces fit together. That's why you are here. That's why I am here. You are the processor, simulating yourself.
Same here OP. I always end up with submissive girls who want to be tied up, slapped, called whores and have simulated rapes thrust upon them. When really all I want is to lick their feet and arseholes and let them pin me down and fuck me on top, while telling me they love me.
>>15
I know right! I want that more than anything. But the sad news is that I have been in a BDSM session (with a prostitute though), we were not synchronized at all and it was total shit (not literally), not at all what I expected.
I just want to feel the anger and insanity of a sadistic controlling bitch. Do you understand what I mean? Playing pretend with rubber clothes is not enough for me.
So anyway, i guess things have been a little quiet with my lady-friend lately... i think she may have even found the secret hide-out ...here.. damnit you guys...... what should i do? =.
Also, do you think she might be cheesed that i didn't do the doona dance? D=
guess it probably offended.. =(
come on it's not like i'll never want to =) i just thought it was a little rushed.. we've probably not spent 5 minutes holding hands or 10 having a pash yet ;D