panic

oh my god I am dying I can't breathe help me oh god oh god oh god

What is "God"?

Are u ok OP?

I took some more xanax and paxil and I feel okay now

I just hate how I'm dependent on medications to feel sane

I stopped smoking cigarettes and weed, and stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, all of which made my panic and anxiety even worse, and yet my anxiety and panic are still bad even though I've quit things which contributed to it

I wonder if me taking xanax and paxil for a long time has made me less able to deal with panic/anxiety when I don't take them

it seems to degenerate as time goes on... it gets harder and harder for me to cope with these things without medications, which I'd rather not be on

I don't mean to sound like some loony conspiracy theorist, but I wonder if they intentionally make the medications like this in an attempt to make more profit by having long-term customers who continue to buy their medications

after all, it's what keeps cigarettes, alcohol, and illegal drugs in business -- addiction

Also, stop masturbating and take a cold shower every two days while pretending to be an ice fairy.

I used to have panic attacks too. Then I heard from a hippie in my town that lemon balm tea helps you relax and calms you down. I don't know if it's just a placebo but it worked for me, I grow it in my window now. Also, the fact that I care for another living being, even if it's just a plant, helps.
It also smells very nice.

My advice would probably be, get a plant that can reward you in some way and care for it.