Name: Anonymous 2012-01-07 12:55
ITT: Post your favourite implementation of the anonononoptimizer
My alltime favourite:
' CONFIDENTAL ANONONOPTIMIZER CORE INIT SOURCE
'
' LICENSED UNDER THE TERMS OF THE ANONONOPTIMIZER LICENSE
'
' IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CONSIDER NOT
' TELLING ANYONE ABOUT THIS FILE
'
' ITS TOTALLY CHEAP ONLY $59999999999 DOLLARS
' PLEASE IGNORE THE FOLLOWING LINES THANK YOU
SUB TWAIT(IV AS INTEGER)
SLEEP (IV * 1000)
END SUB
SUB WAITINPUT
'DIM response 'AS INTEGER
INPUT "[PLEASE PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE]", response
END SUB
SUB STE(ST AS INTEGER, SM AS INTEGER, SW AS INTEGER, SA AS STRING = "")
PRINT("STEP " & ST & " OF " & SM & " FINISHED. " & SA)
TWAIT(SW)
END SUB
SUB UFE(QU AS STRING, US AS STRING)
PRINT(" '" & QU & "' - " & US)
END SUB
DIM I AS INTEGER
DIM MAX AS INTEGER = 10
DIM SA AS STRING = ""
PRINT("WARNING: ABOUT TO DO MEANINGFUL WORK!")
PRINT("*** DO NOT SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER ***")
TWAIT(1)
FOR I=1 TO MAX
STE(I, MAX, 1, SA)
NEXT I
PRINT("*********************************************")
PRINT("* CONGRATULATIONS YOUR WINDOWS COMPUTER IS *")
PRINT("* NOW OPTIMIZEREREREREDED *")
PRINT("*********************************************")
WAITINPUT
PRINT("")
PRINT("# THANK YOU FOR BUYING ANONONOPTIMIZER")
PRINT("# THAT ONE OPTIMIZER THAT IS TOTALLY OPTIMIZING AND STUFF")
PRINT("# ANONONONONOPTIMIZER IS POWERED BY SECRET TECHNOLOGY")
PRINT("")
PRINT("USER FEEDBACK*: ")
PRINT("")
UFE("ANONONOPTIMIZER GAVE MY LIFE A NEW MEANING", "STEVE JOBS")
UFE("ANONONOPTIMIZER IS TOTALLY COOL", "PRESIDENT OF THE USA")
UFE("I JUST BOUGHT 80 COPIES OF ANONONOPTIMIZER", "RICHARD STALLMAN")
UFE("WE HAVE REPLACED WINDOWS XP WITH ANONONOPTIMIZER "& _
"BECAUSE ANONONOPTIMZER IS TOTALLY RAD", "BILL GATES")
PRINT("")
PRINT("* ALL QUOTES ARE BASED ON FACTS")
WAITINPUT
My alltime favourite:
' CONFIDENTAL ANONONOPTIMIZER CORE INIT SOURCE
'
' LICENSED UNDER THE TERMS OF THE ANONONOPTIMIZER LICENSE
'
' IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CONSIDER NOT
' TELLING ANYONE ABOUT THIS FILE
'
' ITS TOTALLY CHEAP ONLY $59999999999 DOLLARS
' PLEASE IGNORE THE FOLLOWING LINES THANK YOU
SUB TWAIT(IV AS INTEGER)
SLEEP (IV * 1000)
END SUB
SUB WAITINPUT
'DIM response 'AS INTEGER
INPUT "[PLEASE PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE]", response
END SUB
SUB STE(ST AS INTEGER, SM AS INTEGER, SW AS INTEGER, SA AS STRING = "")
PRINT("STEP " & ST & " OF " & SM & " FINISHED. " & SA)
TWAIT(SW)
END SUB
SUB UFE(QU AS STRING, US AS STRING)
PRINT(" '" & QU & "' - " & US)
END SUB
DIM I AS INTEGER
DIM MAX AS INTEGER = 10
DIM SA AS STRING = ""
PRINT("WARNING: ABOUT TO DO MEANINGFUL WORK!")
PRINT("*** DO NOT SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER ***")
TWAIT(1)
FOR I=1 TO MAX
STE(I, MAX, 1, SA)
NEXT I
PRINT("*********************************************")
PRINT("* CONGRATULATIONS YOUR WINDOWS COMPUTER IS *")
PRINT("* NOW OPTIMIZEREREREREDED *")
PRINT("*********************************************")
WAITINPUT
PRINT("")
PRINT("# THANK YOU FOR BUYING ANONONOPTIMIZER")
PRINT("# THAT ONE OPTIMIZER THAT IS TOTALLY OPTIMIZING AND STUFF")
PRINT("# ANONONONONOPTIMIZER IS POWERED BY SECRET TECHNOLOGY")
PRINT("")
PRINT("USER FEEDBACK*: ")
PRINT("")
UFE("ANONONOPTIMIZER GAVE MY LIFE A NEW MEANING", "STEVE JOBS")
UFE("ANONONOPTIMIZER IS TOTALLY COOL", "PRESIDENT OF THE USA")
UFE("I JUST BOUGHT 80 COPIES OF ANONONOPTIMIZER", "RICHARD STALLMAN")
UFE("WE HAVE REPLACED WINDOWS XP WITH ANONONOPTIMIZER "& _
"BECAUSE ANONONOPTIMZER IS TOTALLY RAD", "BILL GATES")
PRINT("")
PRINT("* ALL QUOTES ARE BASED ON FACTS")
WAITINPUT