If programming languages were

Ways to build a house

I want to build a house by myself in the woods from lumber I cut with an axe
C++
C
I want to participate on a construction team and put up some dry wall, do some painting, hammer some nails and not have to deal with the foundation
C#
Java
I'm an interior designer
Actionscript
Python
Gamemaker/GML
Construct
Html (huehue)
PHP
Ruby
LISP
etc...

assembly - quickly burrow into the ground, and then, over the course of several months, you carve out an intricate tunnel system that is very long, dark, dangerous, and constantly collapsing. To get around, you ride a loose mine cart that travels at breakneck speed.