Oh mighty overlords of /prog/

Hi guys, I fail at /prog/ramming. I look at .php and my brain melts through my nose.

So I am throwing myself upon the mercy of /prog/

I'm running a wakaba image board but would really like to limit the chan to one thread per op with an ip restriction that only allows op to post in his/her thread. How do?

-move all files to dev0
-delete system32.dll

>>1
Would you play a bullet hell shooting game featuring cute magical viking boys battling in the skies of Asgard?

>>2 at least sage if you're going to troll post, like this guy >>3

And yes, I would play IF it were a web based flash game.

sage foar being off topic in my own thread.

Hi guys, I fail. I look @ anus and my brain melts through my sweatpants.

So I am throwing myself upon the anus of /prog/.

I'm running a anus image magicboxIE9™ but would really like to limit the anus to one rape per fag with an int +5 restriction that only allows fags to copulate in his/her rapezone. How do?

>>4
flash
If it ain't Lisp, it's crap.

>>6
Lisp is shit.

I'd just like to point out that Wakaba was written in Perl not PHP.

>>8 Thanks for the clarification. It was only an example... java and perl make my brain melt too. Not too sure about Lisp, I've never used it so maybe I'm good with it. Kinda afraid to find out I don't understand it though.

PerlHP

>>9
Oh, come on, we answer this question like three times a day, that's why you only get troll responses. Well, I can't blame you, there's lots of advice out there written by complete idiots.

If you want to learn programming in general, read some of: SICP, HTDP, Learn Python the Hard Way. There. From there go wherever you like, like the usual algorithms and data structures, computer graphics, web crap, computer organization and assembly, automata theory and compilers, whatever, go mad.

Forgot my sage.

>>9
Hello, robert

You're on your own OP, best of luck!

>>1
I have decided to take you on as my padawan learner.  Be aware that this will be the most difficult thing you have ever done or ever will do in your life.  But, if you maintain your focus and avoid the temptations of the dark side, you will become a jedi master.

Your first lesson:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transistor

1) Meditate on this sentence from the article: ^₆₆The transistor is the fundamental building block of modern electronic devices, and is ubiquitous in modern electronic systems.^₉₉.
2) Is the sentence true or false, and why?
3) Memorize all types of transistors, including
 a) Their uses, advantages, and disadvantages
 b) Their characteristic voltage/current equations

I refuse to rage, but my hope for humanity has dropped to an all time low.

If people want advice about photoshop or illustrator I am always keen to share my knowledge. If they want to know how to make a great apple pie I'll share my recipe.

Programmers seem so shut off, so autistic in their nature that doing something as normal as passing on knowledge seems alien to them... Yes we are aware that you worked hard to learn what you know, but with great knowledge comes... the ability to share, the ability to assist others. We know you take pride in what you do and thats great, you should, but learn that pride can come in many forms. Helping an old lady accross the street, defending a lady.. or even helping some programming noob out with a snippet of code would not only make you feel good about yourself it would make others feel good towards you too.

I know what I'm asking is simple. I know because I've seen some of the threads here, scripts that make my mind boggle, snippets of code that only programmers could find funny get a grand response. Some of you guys are clearly really good, a little advice would take moments of your time and you'd make my little corner of the web a much better place for me and my small community. But feel free to troll the noob if you must.


and yes I'm aware that this is 4chan.

>would really like to limit the chan to one thread per op with an ip restriction that only allows op to post in his/her thread
I think your idea is retarded, though fortunately, your ignorance is keeping your chan alive. Consider what of you could only post in one thread from 2003 you created about the depth of lizard anuses.

can I get an apple pie recipe?

I know what I'm asking is simple.

It probably boils down to a few lines yes, but there are some subleties you are overlooking here:

* wakaba is a pile of perl. looking through it, it doesn't look too bad... but no way in hell is a non perl programmer ever going to be able to make adjustments to that beast.
* what you're asking for is impossible ([b]X-Forwarded-For[/b]).

>>18
Take your pick: http://allrecipes.com/Search/Recipes.aspx?WithTerm=apple%20pie

OP, Tell us the URL we need to access the problem at hand.

>>20
No I don't want to search for such trivial problem. Can you post one in this thread please?

>>22
oh and also I am pretty noob at apple pies. So please explain everything step by step because other wise I won't get it

>>19
Thanks for the response, sincerely.

>>21
The site doesn't have a chan yet so nothing to see. it is something I was hoping to implement as a type of gallery where each member gets one thread to show off their new work.

>>17
if it were a chan only site then yeah it would suck but its just going to be a gallery somewhere within the site on its own page. I know theres a bunch of other prettier gallery scripts out there but I was really keen on this idea.

>>24
Its an art site? Like for stuff deviantArt considers deviant?

>>22

apple pies are quite simple, heres my recipe

Start with good ripe cooking apples, peel and core them and slice into slightly bigger than bitesize chunks

add sugar = to 10% of the apples weight

same with butter (i like using salted)

throw into a baking tray and stick in a medium oven for 20-25 minutes.

Thats your filling prepared.

Now roll out some prebought shortcrust pastry (yes prebought) on a floured surface, place in a greased pastry case, fill with baking beans and bake for 10 minutes (leave enough for the top of the pie)

pull the pie case and the apple mix out the oven, scoop apples into case, flop the top of the case over the top, pinch down the edges, make some air holes, paint with milk.

Bake in the oven for 35 minutes

serve with vanilla iced cream


PROTIP: pastry leaves are for faggots

>>22

>>25

It's a photography site for local enthusiasts.

So, what on Earth would make a photographer anonymously post on your changallery hybrid which restricts them to their segregated threads and lacks any comments(since every OP is posting in his own "thread"), easily bypassed by Dynamic IP resets, doesn't consider people sharing NAT routers(which in local communities could crop up often), doesn't allow any of the advanced features gallery sites use and have the visual interface of 5-year old chan script, plus its inherently flawed: single chan thread for all time as gallery(Gallery which has "expiration date" is even more obnoxious ) for one IP is like trying to hook up a dog with wings, launch it bound with with helium balloons in a catapult so it will "reach orbit". Chans aren't meant for photohosting, its a dynamic medium for many-to-many discussion, not a toy photoblog platform.

>>26
You idiot, you have to make the universe first.

I like you. I'd do it if I knew perl.

read SICP