Script tasklist fails

Start a cmd.
Type "tasklist /?".
Note the syntax for writing filters such as IMAGENAME.
Write simple line of code to see if the internet browser is running: tasklist /FI "IMAGENAME eq iexplore.exe"
Get error message: "The search filter cannot be recognized."
Scour the net for why this is happening.
Discover lots of people it works just fine for.
Consult documentation at Microsoft.com.
Read the example: tasklist /fi "USERNAME ne NT AUTHORITY\SYSTEM" /fi "STATUS eq running"
Type the exact example.
Get the error message: "Microsoft users can't even check what processes are running from a simple prompt - have a free dildo."

Do I have to get XP Professional for this to work, or something?

>>19
1. No, I'm not going to have her look around for other guys just because she would think I'd be incompetent.
Dude, just let her find some loser to fix her windows. If she's with you just because she thinks you are competent at solving her problems, it's not love, it's prostitution. You gotta learn to say "no" and "fuck off, I'm off-duty".

2. I'm using that computer as well, and she's already blaming me enough because she believes my stuff is taking up too much space.
She's probably right, get a job and buy your own damned hard drive (and LUKS-encrypt it (don't forget to leave an unencrypted /boot partition unless you want to boot from a USB drive every time (which is actually the most secure you can get)) so she can't touch your delicious loli cat pictures).

4. I actually tried my best talking her into getting Ubuntu, but her computer came preinstalled with Windows without extra charge, and she didn't want me tinkering with something that wasn't broken.
Oh so you proposed a solution (along with full technical support) and she didn't accept it? That ungrateful bitch; let her pay the price of her own foolishness when she has to pay for technical support and antiviruses and whatnot.