Script tasklist fails

Start a cmd.
Type "tasklist /?".
Note the syntax for writing filters such as IMAGENAME.
Write simple line of code to see if the internet browser is running: tasklist /FI "IMAGENAME eq iexplore.exe"
Get error message: "The search filter cannot be recognized."
Scour the net for why this is happening.
Discover lots of people it works just fine for.
Consult documentation at Microsoft.com.
Read the example: tasklist /fi "USERNAME ne NT AUTHORITY\SYSTEM" /fi "STATUS eq running"
Type the exact example.
Get the error message: "Microsoft users can't even check what processes are running from a simple prompt - have a free dildo."

Do I have to get XP Professional for this to work, or something?

>>16
Okay, fine: Ex-girlfriend/lover.

>>17
1. No, I'm not going to have her look around for other guys just because she would think I'd be incompetent.
2. I'm using that computer as well, and she's already blaming me enough because she believes my stuff is taking up too much space.
3. DivX IS free.
4. I actually tried my best talking her into getting Ubuntu, but her computer came preinstalled with Windows without extra charge, and she didn't want me tinkering with something that wasn't broken.