Hello /prog/. I'm a software engineer from Los Angeles. I make $74,000/yr and I'm 24 years old. Both my age and salary are roughly industry standard for programmers at my experience level.
I visit /prog/ often as I almost always find something interesting or at least funny, however as I was reading through today, at work, a thought struck me: Students, either high schoolers or college level, with no experience in this field, might actually believe real-world programming is like this. This is why I'd like to leave a short message to everyone not yet employed full-time in this industry:
Programming is nothing like what is represented on this board. Absolutely and totally nothing like it. This will be obvious to my colleagues here, who are also gainfully employed (meaning, getting flown around the country occasionally to go to mostly useless conferences on your company's dime), and are just trolling with the endless Lisp / Haskell / Whateverthefuck-useless-academic-language debates.. But to the kids here, you should know that what you're doing is useless and will not carry over to a job where your boss needs something done on a system that actually does useful things.
You can troll each other about Lisp and number theory with your brand new copy of SICP in hand, that's fine, but be sure you spend time learning perl, Ruby, PHP, Python, and some C variant. Learn basic SQL syntax and usage. Learn basic system administration and Bash. When you actually have rent to pay and your boss telling you the company needs a live chat module by next Monday, you'll need to be able to actually accomplish things, in a programming language others can maintain, on a system already in place. Spoilers: That language will not be Lisp.
Sure, there will be fringe mentions of Lisp or Haskell monads here and there, and that weird autismal guy who's 38 and single and published a math paper who does this crap in his free time is eager to ramble about it.. But even then you probably don't want to get cornered in the break room by him because he's fucking autismal and you have real work to do.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:28
I can't wait to start a business and crush all my competitors with Lisp like Paul Graham did.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:37
to students:
- the industry is shit because it's young, can't keep up with itself, and totally up its own ass.
- you will contribute to its shittiness because only aspies challenge the institution.
- you may or may not be self-aware of the shittiness you are contributing.
- it won't affect your performance or success -- the industry actually selects for shit.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:40
FUCK OFF BITCH I HAVE A WEBSERVER RUNNING IN LISP FOR A FORTUNA 500 COMPANY SO SUCK IT, ASS .
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:41
OH AND I FUKQIN GET PIMP TIGHT PAID, YO. LISP RULEZXE0Rz!11ONE!!!!1
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:49
>>2
I can't wait to start a business and crush all my competitors with PHP like Mark Zuckerburg did.
This only matters if you write code for others instead of for yourself.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-07 23:53
PHP: Pimp Ho Programming
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 0:20
>>7
I think that's his point. Your parents won't pay your rent forever.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 0:27
>>9
I can write code for users instead of employers. They're really just a proxy anyway.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 0:55
be sure you spend time learning perl, Ruby, PHP, Python, and some C variant. Learn basic SQL syntax and usage. Learn basic system administration and Bash.
I use a brand new copy of what to learn this?
>>1
You seriously believe that anyone would come to /prog/ and never hear about Stack Overflow or TheDailyWTF or any other place where practicing programmers hang out and talk about their jobs? You really don't have to look very far to see that most ``programming'' is actually writing CRUD apps and configuration of boilerplate-y frameworks.
But then again, why would you want to wallow on that? That's not what we come to do on /prog/. Moreover, IHBT, because nobody ever discusses number theory on /prog/, if you believe so, read a fucking book or go back to php.net, please..
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 9:45
i hate lispers
i hate C++ers
i hate haskellers
i have C#ers
i fucking hate java CS freshmen
i probably hate you
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 12:22
>>17
fuck you Python faggot. your dying language contributes nothing.
>>1 live chat module by next Monday languages others can maintain, on a system already in place.
Just tell me a language that makes any code dumb-proof. Of course I cannot prove that any of your choices can't do it!
It's really funny when people does some colorful advanced enterprise level web applications and generalize all their awesome and vast experience (wow, at Los Angeles with only 24 years old... this guy can be THE CHOSEN ONE) to every kind of computing application.
Maybe we can stop all the work people does out there on these unuseful, academic-waste-of-time topics, and let every programmer living happy with our super advanced technology of today! Who cares if some kinky nerd in Alaska are developing a new GC model for our ultra-fast ruby interpreter? Or another russian stalinist playing with primes trying criptic algorithms all day? I don't even need those jerks trying to make these junk called quantum-computing happen!
Now I suddenly feel really dumb... I'll replace /prog/ with a very small shell script.
Name:
Anonymous2011-07-08 21:26
I wish more suggestions would be given to fellow /prog/ readers
who are in school.
Im a rising junior and shit like this really helps. Freshmen year I actually looked into SICP and gave up after the first 2 chapters.
I think other things would look better to employers and would be more applicable which is why i stopped.
Right now I'm learning how to build Android Apps - A friend of mine was hired at sap recently and said they really liked that he taught himself to write iOS apps.
>>28
Continuing for you,
all the major programming problems are already solved. Who cares about P?=NP? You'll never use it in Real World Applications!!!
>>31
You should also gather all the printer drivers you can muster and burn them into a DVD. Enterprises always need to more efficiently employ their assets and installing the appropriate drivers is very important for that!.
Also, the fact that you went through all the trouble to download all those drivers will show your future employers that you possess the work ethic and initiative that they require for you to better serve key stake holders in an ever changing scenario of organizational synergy.
>>31 I think other things would look better to employers and would be more applicable
Learn Java and optimize your keyboard layout for it. Then learn to write 80~90 ``public'' per minute, 110~130 ``new'' per minute, and as many Factory as you can (>70) per minute.
You're ready to be a code monkey, your boss will be happy because both him and you'll think that you're being productive by writing kLoCs of boilerplate code.
``it guy'' high school dropout x
----------------------------------- = ----------------------------------
enrolled computer science student student of classic compsci texts
>>50
C is portable assembler. Unless you suck ##C's Zhivago's dick everyday, you should agree to that. Faggot.
Name:
!!1ILcdKBYf7nyXyy2011-07-12 14:08
>>50
ANSI/ISO C99 defines C in terms of an 'abstract machine'. All the specification requires is that the implementation produce results that are consistent with this 'abstract machine'. So to put this in terms that you neanderthal mind can comprehend, yes, C can be viewed as portable assembler.