[unemployed] job postings [IHBT]

-3+ years with HTML
5+ years experience hand-coding HTML and CSS

The number of times I see this is frankly shocking. It is extremely disappointing to lose all interest in a job because you realize whoever wrote the posting has no idea what programming is. I have also seen requirements for experience listing whatever new framework or API that will supposedly solve everyone's problems--mostly with JQuery, MooTools, CakePHP, etc.-- and an impossible amount of time using said API, meaning I had to have been using the API before it existed.

Master in Computer Science Obviously no degree was required for whoever in this company wrote the job posting.

Proficient with Visual Studio 2005 and higher.
I am proficient with all text editors. I still don't know what this means, and since I'll never ever pay for a Microsoft certification, I may never know.

o C# and/or VB.Net
these two things are interchangeable so easily?

You will leverage your knowledge of JEE-based web architecture and related technologies including Java, J2EE, Spring, AJAX, and GUI Expereince relational database connections.

I have seen Chinese electronics dealer websites with more comprehensible English.

Go ahead, even if you're fortunate and have a job right now, venture into your local craigslist.org/sof/ or other job website do foreigners have job websites? and check out the postings for your development specialty.

Why won't anyone hire me for Lisp?

Wow, I sounds like someone has actually been listening to /prog/ and now wonders why he can't get hired.

Frankly, I have PHP on my resume, so I don't think I've been listening very hard. I'm more of an EXPERT WEB DEVELOPER because I haven't finished a Bachelor's program.

Looking for a good time? http://trollmegle.cel3stial.com/

Looking for a good time? http://trollmegle.cel3stial.com/

My advice to you OP is to get out of web development and leave that work for the chumps. Web development is low-tier software development.

>>7
What would be the high-tier of software development?

>>8
GNU/Linux kernel development.

>>9
How GNU/Linux is better than Lisp OS?

Why can't we just destroy all obsolete PHP/C/C++/Java/C# technology and replace it with Lisp?

>>2
Why won't anyone hire me for Lisp?
Ask this question to MicroSoft and Google. It's they, who force you to use particular languages and frameworks. Even better: just fucking revolt, overthrow MicroGoogle dictatorship and create The Free State of Lisp.

>>11
These companies are not making you use hardware or operating systems that refuse to run lisp.  Anyone can write their code in any language they choose.  Real languages thrive easily in this environment.  The only reason there is no useful lisp code being written is because lisp is simply inadequate.

>>12
Anyone can write their code in any language they choose.
Nope. You're forced to use Java or C# and asking questions'll get you fired.

The only reason there is no useful lisp code being written
Because nobody'll pay you for writing Lisp code.

lisp is simply inadequate.
define inadequate

>>12
These companies are not making you use hardware or operating systems that refuse to run lisp
What API provides XBox360?
What API provides Windows?

>>14
You're right those suck. We should all just join the Sony Master Race. They even used Lisp a few times!

>>15
Sony uses C++ = Sony executives deserve death.

>>13
Because nobody'll pay you for writing Lisp code.
Customers will pay for whatever meets their needs.  They don't know anything about languages.  Is all lisp software unable to meet any customer's needs?

>>2
http://lispjobs.wordpress.com/

>>17
Programmers don't work directly with customers. Companies have marketing and sales departments for customers.

>>17
Is all lisp software unable to meet any customer's needs?
What customers need? Will they agree to switch from Windows to Lisp-OS, just to use Web Browser written in Lisp?

Lisp fucking sucks. get over it fags

>>19
While it is true that programmers don't generally work with customers, the sales department do not generally perform technical requirements analysis with customers. The systems analyst usually performs this function.

MORE LIKE
20+ YEARS OF HASKELL EXPERIENCE REQUIRED
AND A HOOKER FOR THE HR GUY
AMIRITE LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZzz!!11oNE!!1ONE1!

>>15
Sony forced everyone to use Sepples with PS3, Naughty Dog had to write a Racket DSL to generate all the dirty C++ code.

I GO HARD IN THE MOTHERFUCKING PAINT NIGGA

A few weeks ago I saw a job posting which asked for 10 years of Ruby on Rails experience. It was rather amusing.

>dirty C++ code.
I wouldn't run a dirty browser on top of a dirty OS, running dirty drivers peppered with dirty assembly.

>>24
Naughty Dog had to write a Racket DSL to generate all the dirty C++ code.
C++ takes so much boilerplate, that you have to fallback to external code generators. Every pro uses a lot of #define and m4 macros.

>>26
What do you expect from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_lady ?
Girls should go back to kitchen.

>>28
#defines are bad and you should feel bad about just thinking of using them.

>>30
They are easier to use, than C++ templates.

#define fi(a; b, c) for (int i = a; b; i+=c) is a must

>>27
Unix is so much a pile of shit that they've dedicated a whole book on how it sucks.
Assembly is not dirty, why would it be dirty? Did you mean the x86 architecture? If so, you're right, it's bloated as fuck.
Conkeror is acceptable as browser, but XUL Runner leaks memory like a champ.

Now,
Why don't you write your own OS in Lithp, faggoth.
I have read the Intel manuals, all of them. I quickly realised that writing an OS from scratch on x86 would be literally insane, and theory is always better than practice.
One person writing an OS all alone for a sanesimpler architecture would still be insane.
Why don't you write your own browser?
It's not as simple as you think, the internet is literally filled with not well-formed HTML documents and browser-specific assumptions. Handling just the best case equals to ban yourself from the 90% of the internet.

>>33
I have read the Intel manuals, all of them. I quickly realised that writing an OS from scratch on x86 would be literally insane,
The hardest part is to start, because The Right Thing would require rethinking everything we know about OS design, and without a tested design you'll get nowhere. The hardest part would be a low level DSL with C-like capabilities and scalable garbage collector (if you want to freely pass resources between processes).

>>34
Ideally, that's the hardest part. Practically, drivers are even worse.
But yes, glueing everything together in a non-Unixy manner is hard.

The only viable option for a system-wise GC is generational GC, with a kernel private heap, an interprocess heap (whose access are ensured to be atomic operations), a per-process big heap (again, atomic access), and per-thread small heap, with kernel heap and small heaps guaranteed to not get swapped (thus killing the performance).
I'm not sure about copying vs mark-and-sweep. Allocation and collection in a copying GC are faster, but it becomes worse when you start allocating too much memory, since you always need two times the space you need. This may make harder to not swap the small heaps.
Mark-and-sweep is slower, but has a better memory usage.
A solution could be using a copying GC on the big heaps, and mark-and-sweep on the small heaps.

>>35
Ideally, that's the hardest part. Practically, drivers are even worse.
You can reuse Linux-drivers. Anyway, drivers'll become concern only after you complete the first stage and everything will be already working.

The only viable option for a system-wise GC is generational GC
Don't forget, you'll also have to manage file-system resources and LockResource/FreeResource isn't The Right Thing, as it leads to deadlocks. There is also a problem with file types, when a user needs to care about file extensions and a mismatch possible. Ideally, evey file should be wrapped with a meta-info, containing type and icon.

>>37
Basically, for an application programmer there is a little difference between a file on disk and an object in memory, thus manually-loading files into memory could be considered boilerplate.

>>33-34
insane
Cowards. All of you.

At my last job there was a 'real' CS guy who had experience writing hardware level software, his own OSs etc. and he was assigned to work on a mindlessly complicated project to add email campaigns to our software. Whenever he was taking a break I tried to get him talking about the latest kernel he compiled or whatever he had been working on at home. He eventually quit over this project.

Then they hired an even older-school developer, who spent his entire 3 months at the company meticulously planning the algorithm design with diagrams, white boards, spreadsheets, etc. and then was fired because he hadn't written any code.

They gave the project to the development manager. They still hadn't really finished it when they fired me.