I have perfected my being and developed my zen powers beyond that of any other mortal man. I have used my anus to power the atmospheric super-rotation of numerous gas giants. Is their truly nothing that the anus cannot conquer?
My anus can withstand over 20,000 PSI internal pressure. It's rare that I get such extreme pressure buildup, but I find eating a large bag of cheetos and a half dozen chilli-dogs does the trick.