Resume help

I can't get a job. After spending four years getting a degree in engineering I now realize that the degree is worthless.

Can someone do me a favor and make me a resume that claims I'm an expert programmer? Just make shit up. If I get hired for something I'll learn the needed programming languages before I start work.

>>13
Steve Pavlina
Love these self-help gurus. Anyone, who knows enocomics can prove, that his advices simply can't work, but he still aggregates enough mindless followers to earn him $40,000 month. I bet he is of jewish descent. Hope his time will come.