/prog/ Challenge 9

The challenge: Find a cure for autism!

Deadline: 2011-03-20 00:00

Good Luck!

My solution:
Get out of /prog/.

http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1298716752/21

i win

death is the only cure for autism

Autism is the cure.

Does autism make one better at programming? I could see how OCD could be beneficial (and detrimental) in several cases, but I don't think that autism would really affect one's ability to code, unless it were more of the extreme sort, with head-banging and such.

>>6
* OCPD

>>7
`>he's that PSNR guy
wanderingNomads.hs

>>8
Peek Signal to Noise Ratio?

inb4 NP complete

>>6

This is a graph showing my recent studies relating AUTISM to /prog.

AUTISM level is the X axis, while QUALITY OF ENTERPRISE CODE is the Y axis.

|                            []          
|                          **  *         
|                        **    *         
|                      **       *        
|                    **         *        
|                  **            *       
|                **              *      
|              **                 *     
|            **                   *     
|          **                      *    
|        **                        *  
|      **                           * 
|    **                              *
|  **                                 *
|**                                    **
|_________________________________________

The special point right there, is what I call the Stallman's Limit - That's the point where you get so autistic (after reading SICP, neckbearding and eating thing off of your feet) that after this, your code quality drops substantially, and there's no going back. So be careful.)

import whitespace

 ^X_K^C_D QUALITY HUMOR 

Sorry, that was quite bad. Redoing the graph itself.

|                                                        []          
|                                                    ****  *         
| /\                                             ****      *         
| ||                                        ****           *        
| ||                                     ****               *        
| [spoiler]QUALITY[/spoiler]                      ****                    *       
|                                ****                        *      
|                            ****                             *      
|                        ****                                    *     
|                    ****                                         *    
|                ****                                          *  
|            ****                                              * 
|        ****                                                  *
|    ****                                                        *
|****                                                             **
|_____________________________________________________________________
  [spoiler]AUTISM[/spoiler]==>

THAT WAS EVEN WORSE

BUT FUCK YOU

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN

>>13
i loled


   A
   |                                     ###
   |                                ###  ### 
   |                                ###  ### 
   |                           ###  ###  ### 
   |                           ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |                      ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |                      ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |                 ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |                 ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |                 ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
 Q |            ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |            ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |            ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |       ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ### 
   |       ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###
   |       ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###
   |  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###
   |  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###
   |  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###  ###
   +------------------------------------------------------------->
                                 A

A = Autism
Q = Quality of Graph

SICP a day keep autism away

>>16
Excellent graph/autism!

  ▲
   ┃                                     ░░░
   ┃                                ░░░  ▒▒▒
   ┃                                ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒
   ┃                           ░░░  ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒
   ┃                           ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ░░░
   ┃                      ░░░  ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▒▒▒
   ┃                      ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▒▒▒
   ┃                 ░░░  ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▒▒▒
   ┃                 ▒▒▒  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓
   ┃                 ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓
 Q ┃            ░░░  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ███  ▓▓▓
   ┃            ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ▓▓▓
   ┃            ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███
   ┃       ░░░  ▓▓▓  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███
   ┃       ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███
   ┃       ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ░░░
   ┃  ░░░  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ▒▒▒
   ┃  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ▒▒▒
   ┃  ▒▒▒  ▓▓▓  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ███  ▓▓▓  ░░░
   ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━►
A = Autism
Q = Quality of Graph

>>19
Kawaii graph, African American.

ENTERPRISE LEVEL GRAPHS

>>19
Forgot the ``A'' label.

>>19
There's no ``A'' on the graph. Am I autistic for noticing that?

>>22
Easter egg for autists.

>>20
^* Graphrican American

binary dicks trees

>>26
more of this

Unlike most of you insensitive clods I have to deal with real autism every day, so I am very interested in any solution coming out of this challenge.

Here's my situation: neighbor's kid autistic, bangs on wall all day, smashes shit, can't communicate or learn.

Now it's my understanding that this is a neurological disorder at its core, and not an emotional one, although there are definitely side-effects.

The goal of solving this ``problem'' is to improve the quality of life for everybody involved. I'll illustrate this point with a graph.

   ▲        
   ┃  ░░░                       
   ┃  ▒▒▒ ░░░                     
   ┃  ▒▒▒ ▒▒▒                     
   ┃  ▒▒▒ ▒▒▒ ░░░                 
   ┃  ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ ░░░             
   ┃  ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒             
   ┃  ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒             
 Q ┃  ███ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ░░░         
   ┃  ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒         
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒         
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓ ░░░     
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒     
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒     
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ░░░ 
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ 
   ┃  ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ 
   ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━►
                    A

A = Autism
Q = Quality of Life

I believe these two might have an idea about solving this problem. http://i55.tinypic.com/2jd2z28.png

>>28
Sir, your graph seems to indicate the more autistic a person is the less quality of life for the people around said autistic person. Please correct this problem.


                                       AUTISMS
  quality
    1.2 ++----+----------------+----------------+----++
        +     +                +                +     +
        |                      *                      |
      1 ++                    * *                    ++
        |                    *   *                    |
        |                    *   *                    |
    0.8 ++                   *   *                   ++
        |                    *    *                   |
        |                   *     *                   |
    0.6 ++                 *       *                 ++
        |                  *       *                  |
        |                  *       *                  |
    0.4 ++                 *        *                ++
        |                 *         *                 |
        |                *           *                |
    0.2 ++              *             *              ++
        |               *             *               |
        +     +       **       +       **       +     +
      0 ***************--------+--------***************
              0                1                2          
                            autisms

Man.

In a related note,

I just accepted a job at an autism genetics lab last week.

I'm going to be unmangling their shitty proprietary SQL database that has to interact with their even shittier... (wait for it) TOMCAT WEB FRONTEND.

Oh my fucking god I have never seen so many files loaded into fucking netbeans at once.

This is going to be the worst summer job ever.

And you will be told all about it, /prog/.

How many autisms in an aspergers?

>>32
Answer: [μ..(1-μ)]

Where μ is the machine unit multiplied by the number of keyboard layouts I have (3).

>>31
you haven't said what the problem is. but i'm glad you're trying to solve it. unfortunately, it will be too late for the deadline on this one.
if you want a truly ENTERPRISE-GRADE solution, other than tomcat, i suggest maybe .. looking at opencalc?

>>34
I am sorry, but this is how things are.

Enterprisey elements:

1. The EVIL COMMERCIAL CLOSED-SOURCE SQL server doesn't name its tables or columns, it simply numbers them. Thousands of them. Of both tables and columns, I mean. And this is mostly pedigree and genealogical information.

2. The Java itself was developed almost exclusively by second- and third-year CS students.

3. The closest person to a technical expert on staff has SUPER ACCESS SKILLZ

Have you considered XML?

>>36
I will report on my findings of XML if and when I find XML.