If One Waited Intentionally Between Qiddush and the Meal
Friday, August 16, 2013/Elul 10, 5773
We mentioned that after Qiddush the meal should be eaten right away ( http://www.atorahminute.com/2013-08-09 ). It should be noted, however, that there are those who are of the opinion that even if one intends to eat the meal an hour or two after the Qiddush, one has still fulfilled one's obligation. Because of this, even if one deliberately delays eating after the Qiddush, one should not recite the blessings again, because whenever there is a difference of opinion (doubt) about blessings, we do not recite them. As such, if this happens at night, before starting the meal one should say the blessing of the Qiddush in one's mind, or say it loudly without mentioning G-d's Name and Kingdom.
Mistakenly Believing Something Is Forbidden Monday, August 5, 2013/Ab 29, 5773
If someone accepted that something permitted was forbidden, because he was under the impression that the Halakha was such, but later discovered that it was perfectly permissible, it is considered to be a Neder (vow) made in error. In such a case, it is as if nothing happened, and no annulment of vows is required.
לא תראה את שור אחיך או את שיו נדחים והתעלמת מהם השב תשיבם לאחיך "You shall not see your brother's ox or sheep go astray, and turn a blind eye; you shall surely return them to your brother" (Debarim 22:1).
The Torah commands us to be exceedingly particular about returning a lost item to its owner. One should not say, "Why should I care, he should take better care of his possessions". Rabbenu Bahyei states that this comes to teach us that we are all one people, with one Father, and that everyone should be concerned about the well-being of his friend and his possessions.
If One Forgot to Stipulate That a Fast Was Beli Neder Sunday, August 4, 2013/Ab 28, 5773
If one adopted the custom of fasting a private fast, such as Rosh Hodesh and so on, without first stipulating that one was not taking on the commitment to fast as a Neder (vow), and then subsequently did not wish to fast, because he was unable to, or for some other reason, then the following is required. He must do Hattarath Nedarim (the repealing of the vow), and start by regretting the fact that he took on this custom without first specifying that he was doing it Beli Neder (without making a vow to do so). One must be careful not to say that one regrets the previous fasts that one already fasted, because one may not regret positive actions that one did.
Additionally, if when making the Qiddush, one's intention was not to eat the meal in the same place as the Qiddush, and not only that, but one did not intend to eat right away, but subsequently changed one's mind and ate in the same place immediately, one fulfills one's obligation of Qiddush.
Can a Husband Annul Wife's Vows Before Rosh Hashanah?
Wednesday, August 14, 2013/Elul 8, 5773
A person who wishes to have his vow annulled must come himself before the Beth Din. He cannot appoint an agent or even write a letter expressing his regret at having made the vow, but must appear himself. If he and the Beth Din do not speak the same language, he may use an interpreter, provided that he himself is present. A husband may appear before the Beth Din on behalf of his wife, however, since they are considered to be the same person. The wife must explain the details of the vow that she regrets, to her husband, and he repeats it to the Beth Din.
When mentioning the fact that one must make Qiddush where one is eating the Shabbath meal, Maran, z"l adds in the Shulhan 'Arukh, that moving from one corner to another, in the same room, is considered remaining in the same place. As such, if one makes Qiddush in one corner of a room and then goes and eats in another corner, even in a large hall, one does not have to repeat the Qiddush. This is in accordance with the Rambam and the Rosh. The Rif and others disagree, however. The Aharonim write that even Maran, z"l, agrees a priori, that one should not do so.
The remaining letters of the word Tamim, form the word Mayim (water). The Torah is likened to water, because just like water has the quality of always flowing down to the lowest level, so too, the true Torah can only be found among those who are truly humble.
Since, as we mentioned previously, no judgments are actually handed down by the Beth Din when annulling vows, there are some leniencies that result. We noted that a relative may be one of the three members of the Beth Din and that the annulment may take place at night or on Shabbath, none of which may be done in cases where judgments are handed down. Annulling vows or oaths on Shabbath, however, have specific conditions attached. The annulling of the vow or oath which is to take place may only be done if it is for the purpose of Shabbath. For example, if one made a vow not to eat and now wishes to eat, such a vow may be annulled on Shabbath.
The young Yosef answered that Habdalah shows the distinction between the holy and the profane, Israel and the nations of the world and the Shabbath and the rest of the week, which proved that he had an understanding of the subject. His father, however, was not satisfied with this answer. He would ask him one more question before deciding.
"Why" he asked, "is the order of Habdalah that first there is the wine, then Besamim (scent), followed by the candle and at the end Hamabdil (separation)?". Since the separation is the most important, should it not have come right after the wine? The young Yosef thought about it for a moment and answered that his father himself had taught him that the essence of a Jew is to strive to constantly grow. For that reason we start with the mouth (wine), then go up to the nose (scent), then go further up to the eyes (looking at the flame), and finally, the blessing of separation which is connected with understanding, which is the brain. The father was astonished by his eight year old son and let him hold the candle.
It is possible to annul more than one vow at a time as well as to annul vows for more than one person at a time. If annulling multiple vows one changes the phrase from the singular form of "Muttar Lakh" (it is annulled for you), to the plural form of "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you). When annulling for multiple people, the form of the second person, "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you [singular]), is changed to "Muttarim Lakhem" (you [plural]).