find jobs (a typical thread)

does anyone here work?  all pro programmers I know are university professors (real programmers not web dev assholes, but I would do it if it made good money ^_^).
Is there any hope to find work locally?  Specific software that people would hire some no-name asshole like me to do?

I'm at work now. I read 4chan and implementing some stupid shit at the same time. Feels good, man. Also all university professors that I've seen write horrible code. i,j,k instead of normalVariableName(or at least normal_var_name, or at leaster least normalvarname)