Name: Anonymous 2010-08-27 6:23
Why are so many people angry at Java? I have to say, there’s something awfully hilarious about this new breed of Java hater. Hilarious in the way that seeing your autistic mongoloid 22 year old second cousin, while drooling idiotically and grinning proudly, decide to drop trow and masturbate in front of grandma at the Christmas family reunion only can be.
There's enough of them now for us to form a good caricature of said figures, which is bad news for them I’m sure as their self-perception is that of unique visionaries, rather than the tawdry mildly autistic self hating wankers they are. So what do they all have in common?
The first glaringly obvious point of commonality is that their new language is something with low adoption (compared to Java), is fashionable (this month/year), and is filled with ex-Java people. These are usually people who have been ‘demeaned’ by having to write non-sexy useful code, such as the boring apps that are the daily reality of programming. The daily reality being the need to achieve something thats useful to someone else, rather than some way of seeing exactly how far you can drag out your flaccid penis along a ruler.
The second point is that there has to be some barrier to entry. It can’t be something thats generally useful for which you can hire easily, the more obscure and awkward, the better. Ruby’s genius is in being just about hard enough for its developers to feel clever when they manage to get things done, thus continuing the by now familiar desperation that our industry has to feel self-important and worthwhile. It’s basically the latest manifestation of the ‘coding is an art I’m an artist nobody gets it boo fucking hoo’ syndrome.
We’ve always had lisp people, who are convinced their moment is just around the corner. While most of them are dead or retired now, the fucked up autistic genes that caused that sick disease is still rampant in society, and we’re seeing a new generation of infections in the form of all the ruby, groovy, and scala dryhumpers.
Another commonality is a deep, inexplicable insecurity that drives to constantly and belligerently squeal out their messianic drivel at every random passer-by. They’re the Java equivalent of the crazy dude at the corner literally thumping his bible and demanding you bend over and take it up the arse from Jesus or else your children will be eaten by some combination of Arabs, Jews, and Black People.
Finally, what’s most despicable about these people is their total and utter lack of self perception or insight. I honestly suspect that many of these so called ‘advocates’ are mildly autistic; they have no conception of any thoughts outside of their own, and assume that everything that goes on in their head is happening in everyone else’s too. The cognitive dissonance between their mental map and reality results in all this anger and hatred, and they end up drooling foolishly and twitching uncontrollably (sadly often in the vicinity of a keyboard).
Here’s a novel idea, how about getting a job and shutting the fuck up about it? Were you so unloved as children that you’re so desperate to squeal out your emotions to every inanimate object you come across? Are you THAT insecure that you so desperately plead for attention whenever you sense sentience nearby? Perhaps your mothers were better off drowning you as children, instead of the severe emotional beatings you seem to have received instead.
So really, all you dynamic language freaks, all you closure nazis, with your fancy scripts and your typeless nirvana, how fucking hard can it be to get the fuck out of our world, and go try and get a job doing what you asshats actually WANT to do? If your life is so great, why the fuck must you CONSTANTLY hassle us and shit in our coffee?
There's enough of them now for us to form a good caricature of said figures, which is bad news for them I’m sure as their self-perception is that of unique visionaries, rather than the tawdry mildly autistic self hating wankers they are. So what do they all have in common?
The first glaringly obvious point of commonality is that their new language is something with low adoption (compared to Java), is fashionable (this month/year), and is filled with ex-Java people. These are usually people who have been ‘demeaned’ by having to write non-sexy useful code, such as the boring apps that are the daily reality of programming. The daily reality being the need to achieve something thats useful to someone else, rather than some way of seeing exactly how far you can drag out your flaccid penis along a ruler.
The second point is that there has to be some barrier to entry. It can’t be something thats generally useful for which you can hire easily, the more obscure and awkward, the better. Ruby’s genius is in being just about hard enough for its developers to feel clever when they manage to get things done, thus continuing the by now familiar desperation that our industry has to feel self-important and worthwhile. It’s basically the latest manifestation of the ‘coding is an art I’m an artist nobody gets it boo fucking hoo’ syndrome.
We’ve always had lisp people, who are convinced their moment is just around the corner. While most of them are dead or retired now, the fucked up autistic genes that caused that sick disease is still rampant in society, and we’re seeing a new generation of infections in the form of all the ruby, groovy, and scala dryhumpers.
Another commonality is a deep, inexplicable insecurity that drives to constantly and belligerently squeal out their messianic drivel at every random passer-by. They’re the Java equivalent of the crazy dude at the corner literally thumping his bible and demanding you bend over and take it up the arse from Jesus or else your children will be eaten by some combination of Arabs, Jews, and Black People.
Finally, what’s most despicable about these people is their total and utter lack of self perception or insight. I honestly suspect that many of these so called ‘advocates’ are mildly autistic; they have no conception of any thoughts outside of their own, and assume that everything that goes on in their head is happening in everyone else’s too. The cognitive dissonance between their mental map and reality results in all this anger and hatred, and they end up drooling foolishly and twitching uncontrollably (sadly often in the vicinity of a keyboard).
Here’s a novel idea, how about getting a job and shutting the fuck up about it? Were you so unloved as children that you’re so desperate to squeal out your emotions to every inanimate object you come across? Are you THAT insecure that you so desperately plead for attention whenever you sense sentience nearby? Perhaps your mothers were better off drowning you as children, instead of the severe emotional beatings you seem to have received instead.
So really, all you dynamic language freaks, all you closure nazis, with your fancy scripts and your typeless nirvana, how fucking hard can it be to get the fuck out of our world, and go try and get a job doing what you asshats actually WANT to do? If your life is so great, why the fuck must you CONSTANTLY hassle us and shit in our coffee?