Can't get a job HALP

I don't have a degree, but my resume seems good enough to be interviewed.  I've gone on 3 interviews for programming jobs(2 big finance places,1 small finance place and a govt agency and sent about 20-30 or so resumes/applications.  I even interviewed at best buy and they didn't hire me =[.  What am I doing wrong? Honestly I felt I interviewed fine.  I know one flaw is probably that I'm never really enthusiastic about the job at the interview, but I can't really help that because I absolutely dread working and making shitty software.  The prospect of waking up before 12 scares me and my valve.  HALP.

*4

Suck dicks for money.

If you're relatively fit, you could join the army

>>1
It sounds to me like you lack self-confidence. One trick I learnt to boost my self-confidence is to just pretend that you're self-confident. At first it feels weird but after a while you'll naturally think you're a cool, calm and collected person.

)
Learn PHP. Become a freelancer. Write small programs for morons who don't know that half hour of your work is worth far less than $50.

>>3
this seems to work best.

sell crack

OP,
I hear that balding men in their late 50s will pay to rent your anus for a couple of hours.

keep persevering you'll get there. Always ask for feedback after interviews.

approach small companies. they often have a technical team that are smart, but aren't necessarily classically trained, and don't follow enterprise best practices. they often are looking for people that can think for themselves, but this is exactly what large corporations don't want.

>>1
me and my valve
wtf?

>>1
Choose an opensource project and start contributing! Start by fixing simple bugs, then, when you are comfortable with the codebase, you would be able to implement features of increasing complexity. Don't focus on that project alone, pick an unrelated one, contribute to upstream projects, build up your reputation!

As for financial matters, well, first of all your new lifestyle would not consume much, no girlfriend to walk to restaurants and gift with expensive clothes, so basically if you maintain acceptable relations with your parents, you'll have your basement, electricity and Internet for free. If they then would have their panties all bunched up about your being "dependent" and refuse to feed you you can always dine at Hare Krishnas or trawl McDonald's dumpsters: their rules require throwing out hamburgers that were waiting for customers for more than 20 minutes, but those are perfectly OK in reality.

The best you can do is to successfully claim disability, of course, then you'll have all your problems solved. So read up on ADD, ADHD, chronic depression, choose one you like, practice simulating symptoms, memorize the typical story of the unset, and go for it. Morbid obesity from all those dumped big macs will do, too.

>>13

Sadly dumpster diving MacDonalds no longer works in my country(they changed their serving platform to JIT, "make the burger only after you've ordered"). How does one go about Hare Krishnas? I need to organize my wednesdays and fridays, I'm currently going without food those days. Thank god for free wireless and 24 hour student facilities I can mooch off of.

Don't change these.

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