if OSes were girls

Linux is like a High-maintenance gf that has horrible PMS.
XP is the slutty cheerleader.
Vista is a fatter version of the above.
BSD is a bitchy nerdy feminist type prone to fights.
MACOS is like...a creepy stylish transgender "girl" with rich parents and penchant for snobbery.

BSD is a bitchy nerdy feminist type prone to fights.
I think you mean HURD, or GNU.
You know, those pretend OS's which will never really be usable because GNU programmers are shit and would rather steal credit for Linux.