if OSes were girls

Linux is like a High-maintenance gf that has horrible PMS.
XP is the slutty cheerleader.
Vista is a fatter version of the above.
BSD is a bitchy nerdy feminist type prone to fights.
MACOS is like...a creepy stylish transgender "girl" with rich parents and penchant for snobbery.

No! Linux is like a quadruple amputee with a wooden vagina. Don't like a prosthetic? Then replace it with one of your own devising or one you down load from the internet and configure with strange runes.