The Great ONE WORD DESCRIPTION Game!

ITT: Describe the following programming languages with one word. If you don't know about one of the languages, just write NULL.

Java
Python
OCaml
Haskell
C
C++
Lua
VBScript
Javascript
PHP
ASP
Visual Basic
Pascal
Objective-C
Ruby
Perl
Scheme
Lisp
Shakespiere
Brainfuck
Assembly (generic)
Curve fitting (http://www.korokithakis.net/node/89)

Java - FacadeBuilderFactoryFActory
Python - S&M
OCaml -  Finance
Haskell - StackPointerMonadicOverflow
C - Obsolete
C++ - AIDS
Lua - Meh
VBScript - *vomits*
Javascript - ;_;
PHP - DIE
ASP - NULL
Visual Basic - *vomits*
Pascal - Retarded
Objective-C - lol
Ruby - Blogging
Perl - @:%^&^
Scheme - haxmylambda
Lisp - PaulGraham
Shakespiere - Misspelled
Brainfuck - Satori
Assembly (generic) - Meh