The Great ONE WORD DESCRIPTION Game!

ITT: Describe the following programming languages with one word. If you don't know about one of the languages, just write NULL.

Java
Python
OCaml
Haskell
C
C++
Lua
VBScript
Javascript
PHP
ASP
Visual Basic
Pascal
Objective-C
Ruby
Perl
Scheme
Lisp
Shakespiere
Brainfuck
Assembly (generic)
Curve fitting (http://www.korokithakis.net/node/89)

Java = beginners
Python = beginners
OCaml = Oh, camel!
Haskell = functions
C = god mode
C++ = beginners
Lua = beginners
VBScript = ENTERPRISE beginners
Javascript = skiddy
PHP = skiddy
ASP = ENTERPRISE
Visual Basic = ENTERPRISE beginners
Pascal = Computing student
Objective-C = Steve Jobs
Ruby = Japan
Perl = God mode poetry
Scheme = God mode
Lisp = God mode
Shakespiere = Poetry
Brainfuck = God mode anal touring
Assembly (generic) = Electronics student
Curve fitting = A girlfriend (mutually exclusive with all of the above)