The Great ONE WORD DESCRIPTION Game!

ITT: Describe the following programming languages with one word. If you don't know about one of the languages, just write NULL.

Java
Python
OCaml
Haskell
C
C++
Lua
VBScript
Javascript
PHP
ASP
Visual Basic
Pascal
Objective-C
Ruby
Perl
Scheme
Lisp
Shakespiere
Brainfuck
Assembly (generic)
Curve fitting (http://www.korokithakis.net/node/89)

Java - dad's work
Python - cartoon
OCaml - toy (3-6)
Haskell - toy (7+)
C - toy (all ages)
C++ - toy (broken)
Lua - happy meal toy
VBScript - toy (35+)
Javascript - joke book
PHP - sex toy
ASP - sex toy (anal)
Visual Basic - dad's previous work
Pascal - educational toy
Objective-C - section 3.3
Ruby - textmate screencasts
Perl - grandpa's hobby
Scheme - video game (ESRB T)
Lisp - video game (ESRB M)
Shakespiere - Did you mean: Shakespeare
Brainfuck - grandpa's porno tapes
Assembly (generic) - grandpa's work
Curve fitting (http://www.korokithakis.net/node/89) - python