Butter

so one day im sitting in my room when i realize just how much i love butter. I had recieved my monthly paycheck a couple of days before so i decided to make one of my dreams come true. I went to town and bought 600 bricks of butter. I admit i scoffed a couple in the car on the way back, but when i got home i began dutifully unwrapping them and putting them into the bathtub. It was full at about 200 bricks. I took a hot shower to open my pores, then i climbed into the bath. The golden ghee flowed smoothly into all my many crevaces (im 35 stone) and i could feel it seeping into my pores. i then stuffed a bar in my mouth, a half in each ear, a knob in each nostril and a little in my eyes. I then rubbed 3 bars into my hair. I spent the next few days gleefully eating all the butter i could, rubbing it into my manboobs, just rolling and slithering about in it. When the butter in the bath got too melted i would just add another few bricks. I came round and realized i had passed out after the third day. Happily, i had got through all the butter one way or another. The bath butter was no more than a crusty seal around the rim, my body having absorbed everything within. I couldnt talk or breath normally or butter would shoot out of my nose mouth and eyes and would start slowly leaking from my pores. My mouth decided it needs a drink. I look for my soda. Man, i'm sure getting laid tonight.

Not related to board topic. Back to /louge/ with you.

>>2

Back to /g/ with you.

>>3
Listen here, jerkface.

>>1,3
Go away, read SICP, then come back once you've reached satori.

>>1-1
Slightly erotic.

>>5
Listen here, butterface.