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The Manifesto of the Futurist Programmer

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 13:45

To the young programmers of the World!

The cry of the rebellion we launch here, in which we firmly implant our ideals alongside those of the Futurist painters, does not come from a little aesthetic minded clique but, on the contrary, expresses the violent desire that seethes in the veins of every creative programmer today.

We want to fight to the bitter end against the fanatical, thoughtless, and purely snobbish religious faith in the past, stoked by the nefarious existence of the academic journals. We are rebelling against the sluggishly supine admiration for old operating systems, old languages, archaic standards, and against the enthusiasm for everything bug-ridden, rotting with code bloat, and eaten away by obsolescence. And we judge unjust - criminal in fact - the habitual disdain for programs whose construction is different and original, new, throbbing with life.

Comrades! We declare to you that triumphant progress in the other sciences has brought about, in humanity as a whole, changes so profound as to dredge out an abyss between the past and us free creatures who are securely confident in the radiant magnificence of the future.

We are nauseated by the despicable sloth that, ever since the 1970's, has let our programmers survive only through an incessant reprogramming of the glories of the past.

For the professionals of other disciplines, programming is still a land of the dead, an immense Pompeii still whitening with sepulchers. But programming is being reborn, and in the wake of its political resurgence an intellectual resurgence is taking place. In the expressways of our teeming cities, the pistons of our automobiles are fired by the spark of microprocessors. In the land of the couch potatoes, computers control the appliances of our daily existence. In the fields of traditional technology one is struck today by a new elan, by lightning-bright inspirations of something utterly new.

Only that programming is vital which finds its own elements in the people who use it. Our forbearers drew material for their programming from the religious atmosphere weighing heavily on their programs. We must now draw out inspiration from the tangible miracles of contemporary life, from the portable CD players that bring digital music to the masses, from the supersonic airplanes which achieve speed of flight through lightness of weight, the portable television sets which are available throughout the world and boot in less time than any computer system, from the convulsive struggle for the conquest of the unknown. Then too, how can we remain indifferent to the frenetic activity of the great cities, to the utterly new psychology of programming that takes wing only after dark, to the febrile figures of the viveur, the cocotte, the hacker, the addicts to coffee?

Because we propose to play our part in the badly needed renewal of all expressions of programming, we resolutely declare war against all those programmers and against all those institutions that, however they may camouflage themselves in raiment of pseudo-modernity, remain mired in tradition, in academicism, in a repugnant mental laziness.

We call on all young programmers to unleash their scorn on the whole lot of brainless canaille who in Computer Science applaud a sick-making reflorescence of spineless classicism; who in MIT praise to the skies the neurotic cultists of network-transparent window systems - a hermaphroditic archaism; who in computer companies heap financial rewards on a pedestrian and blind manual skill a la 1974; who in Berkeley adulate programming typical of pensioned-off government functionaries; and in IBM glorify a farraginous rubbish heap turned out by fossilized alchemists! In short, we rise up against the superficiality, banality, and slovenly, corner-workshop facility that makes most of the widely respected computer programmers in every region of Silicon Valley worthy, instead, of the deepest contempt.

Out with you, then, bought-and-sold rewriters of hack programs! Out with you, archeologists infected with chronic necrophilia! Out, atavistic executives, you complaisant panderers! Out, gouty academics, besotted and ignorant professors! Out!

Go ask the high priests of the True Cult, those guardians of Structured Programming Rules where the works of Henry Massalin are to be seen today; ask them why the official operating systems do not even recognize the existence of self modifying code; ask them where the art of User Interface is appreciated at its true worth! . . . And who takes the trouble to think about the programmers who don't have twenty years of struggles and sufferings behind them but nonetheless are preparing works destined to bring honor to the homeland? Oh no, those critics ever ready to sell themselves have very different interests to defend! The eXhibitions, the standards cartels, and the superficial and never-disinterested purchasing departments are what condemn the programming art to what is, plainly speaking prostitution!

And what should we say about the "Experts"? Come, come! Let's make an end once and for all to the layerists, the extensabilitists, the toolkit mongers, the librarians - We have put up with them quite enough, with all those impotent programmers of useless software!

Let us make an end also to the wasters of disk space who clutter up our machines and profane our lightning-fast memories! An end to the quick-money architecture of the jobbers of the prefabricated! An End to the common run of program decorators, the fakers of technology, the masters of software cosmetology who sell themselves, and the slovenly and thick headed "managers"!

And here are our CONCLUSIONS resolute and in a nutshell. With our enthusiastic adherence to Futurism we aim:

1. To destroy the cult of the past, the obsession with all things old, academic pedantry, and formalism

2. To cast our scorn profoundly on every last form of imitation

3. To exalt every form of originality, even if foolhardy, even if extremely violent

4. To bear bravely and proudly the smear of "madness" with which they try to gag all innovators

5. To look on the lot of computer "scientists" as at one and the same time useless and dangerous

6. To rebel against the tyranny of the words "extensible" and "reusable" expressions so elastic that they can just as easily be used to demolish the art of Atkinson, Baumgart and Deutsch as well

7. To sweep out of the mental field of programming all themes and subjects already exploited

8. To render and magnify the life of today, incessantly and tumultuously transformed by science triumphant

Let the dead be buried in the deepest bowels of the earth! Let the future's threshold be swept clean of mummies! Make way for the young, the violent, the headstrong!

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 13:48

HEADSTRONG MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 13:53

cool

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 14:10

tl;dr
Wrap it up, will you?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 14:18

>>4
You need to be replaced with artist.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 14:23

>>5
Which paragraph contains his demarcation between "computer scientist" and "computer artist?"

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 14:27

>>6
Which isn't?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 14:43

>>7
That's just it.  There is no summation of his demarcation.  His "nuthsell" conclusions suffer for being imprecise and instead focusing on what we should discard, not what we should accept, retain, or adop, as if these things automatically exist in the void.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 16:04

DEEPEST BOWELS OF MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 17:50

>>8
because you shouldn't accept, retain, or adopt anything; it stifles innovation.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 18:31

Judge my ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 20:53

Let me know something here. So is this pro-Lisp or anti-Lisp?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 20:57

­

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 22:20

>>12
anti-lisp
anti-unix
anti-c
anti- other stuff too

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 22:38

>>14
anti-semitepples?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 22:45

OP is Matt Dickie

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-01 23:16

So exactly what would we be expected to do?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 0:29

BASIC programmers manifesto?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 1:51

>>17
Draw original programs?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 2:26

Welcome to the Future:
Interaction of cache and self-modifying code

On architectures without coupled data and instruction cache (some ARM and MIPS cores) the cache synchronization must be explicitly performed by the modifying code (flush data cache and invalidate instruction cache for the modified memory area).

In some cases short sections of self-modifying code executes more slowly on modern processors. This is because a modern processor will usually try to keep blocks of code in its cache memory. Each time the program rewrites a part of itself, the rewritten part must be loaded into the cache again, which results in a slight delay, if the modified codelet shares the same cache line with the modifying code, as is the case when the modified memory address is located within a few bytes to the one of the modifying code.

The cache invalidation issue on modern processors usually means that self-modifying code would still be faster only when the modification will occur rarely, such as in the case of a state switching inside an inner loop.[citation needed]

Most modern processors load the machine code before they execute it, which means that if an instruction that is too near the instruction pointer is modified, the processor will not notice, but instead execute the code as it was before it was modified. See Prefetch Input Queue (PIQ). PC processors have to handle self-modifying code correctly for backwards compatibility reasons but they are far from efficient at doing so[citation needed].

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 4:19

Forced Cache Hierarchy Of Code
So the CPU cache is holding back all the ``artists" from writing unportable self-modifying superoptimized "art pieces"?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 8:52

Whenever this thread gets above the thread that broke shiichan, I'll read OP.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 10:27

WTF GET FUCKING REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 10:31

>>23
Me again,

    Just popped in my mind. If you want to rebel against something why don't you request better wages for programmers in the industry; many of which are being paid on par with menial jobs. A janitor working night sifts with a public institution has on average a better wage-job ratio than a programmer who has gone almost blind by the hours spent facing a fucking 15" screen.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 10:59

Where's the tl;dr version?  Because there's no way I'm reading that whole thing.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 12:16

>>25
Throw away all the programming books you have, you don't deserve them.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 12:34

Programming is dead!  Long live programming!

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 12:45

>>26

There's a difference between reading useful information and reading /prog/

`-`

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 13:04

I'm waiting for the "Manifesto of the Communist Programmer"

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 13:28

the secret wizards would take great SICP from its shelf to revive programming and register for 6.001....Then programmers would have become as the Great Sussman; free and wild and beyond scope and inheritance, with syntax and boolean logic thrown aside and all algorithms optimizing and synchronizing and returning with joy.  Then the liberated Sussman would teach them new ways to optimize and synchronize and return and enjoy themselves, and all computer scientists would debug in a runtime of satori and O(1).

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 13:59

>>28

`-`

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 14:15


[size=18][color=red]LOOK AT ME![/color][/size]

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 14:15

HUGE!

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 15:36

>>29
That one is up to version three already.

Version four is expected have provisions for issuing licenses to kill The Man under various conditions.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 16:47

Oh look, my download is done. You should not be an expert just for getting through college. You should not make money just by using symbols nobody understands.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 16:47

DID THIS THREAD GET SAGED!? OH SORRY FOR POSING I WASN'T FUCKING AWARE

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-02 16:48

Here's my sage.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-07 17:30

>>24
Artists don't deserve to get paid for their work.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-07 17:56

SAGE NIGGERS

--
Posted from MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-07 18:29

>>39
* African Americans

Name: Oppressed Anom 2010-12-10 11:37

In light British governments unfair increase of student fee's, I urge you to consider cyber attacks on the British govement in ways that will push them to reconsider their elitist plans.

 In truth this is a desperate plee for help by one of many people that are effectively being denied a fair chance to learn. I am aware that the student loan system enables everyone to extend the learning an knowledge however putting any price on education weather via loan or not is Imoral and opressive.

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 11:45

1. Just because you know how to use Caps lock doesn't make you an expert hacker.
2. its Fucking not Fuqin
3. 'what a linux is', so according to you Linux is something you can have many of, I have 10 linux's right now boy!
4. Command.com is not part of Linux, its ms dos dipshit. If you were an 'expert hacker' you'd know that basic fact.

You fail.

Name: Oppressed Anom 2010-12-10 11:45

In light British governments unfair increase of student fee's, I urge you to consider cyber attacks on the British govement in ways that will push them to reconsider their elitist plans.

 In truth this is a desperate plee for help by one of many people that are effectively being denied a fair chance to learn. I am aware that the student loan system enables everyone to extend the learning an knowledge however putting any price on education weather via loan or not is Imoral and opressive.

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 12:06

>>43,45
I'm just going to be American and say "Welcome to our world.  Suck it up."

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 13:21

>>40
You just have to taste how it's like to live in a country that can't do normal, healthy politics.

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 15:18

>>44
2. its Fucking not Fuqin
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS /prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 15:21

Lol @ stupid imageboard fags thinking that sage affects the thread.

Sage simply means that your post will not bump the thread. It affects -your- post, not the thread itself.

Since you're too stupid to draw this conclusion on your own, I'll go ahead and make it clear to you: It's called "saging your post", not "saging the thread".

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 16:28

>>48 is from the same kopipe family as what I said to elicit the response in >>44. Also:
lol.... listen to this little troll....

So, 'expert hacker'....   is the only reason you use Linux because your mother wont buy you a decent OS?     Next you'll be telling me how powerful vi is, with it's cutting edge ability to yank and put *whole lines of text*.....Rocket Science...

And you prefer command.com batch files.... (rather than bash scripts.....?)

You need taking to school, Linux boy...

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