A programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!” Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.” He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!” He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You’re 1337, baby!” This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface. (Source)
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-21 13:04
One night when his charge was at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to
get a cute little coil to discharge him. He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across the wheat stone
bridge, around the sine wave, and into the magnetic field next to the
flowing current.
Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curve, soon had her
field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her
frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage
probe. He inserted it in parallel and began to short circuit her shunt.
Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". With his tube
at maximum output and her coil vibrating from the current flow, her
shunt soon reached maximum heat. The excessive current had shorted her
shunt, and Micro's capacity was rapidly discharged, and every electron
was drained off. They fluxed all night, tried various connections and
hookings until his bar magnet had lost all of its strength, and he could
no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With
his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so
they ended up reversing polarity and blowing each other's fuses.
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-21 13:04
There are four engineers travelling in a car -- a mechanical engineer,
a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.
"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the
mechanical engineer.
"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel
might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."
"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical
engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."
They all turn to the computer scientist, who up to then had said
nothing, and asked "Well, what do you think?"
"I put on my wizard robe and hat. My other car is a cdr." The computer scientist pulls out a cudder from his pocket, and shoves it down the throats of the engineers. "Take that, motherfuckers!!!!"
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-22 9:53
My other car is a cdr
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-22 10:07
Programmer getting a job that doesnt involve java
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-22 10:25
Assume the cow is a bumpmapped icosahedron
Name:
Anonymous2010-02-22 10:32
A programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!” Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.” He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!” He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, HACK MY ANUS!! HACK MY ANUS!! I HAVE READ MY SICP TODAY!! This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface. (Source)
A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and a computer scientist are sitting outside at a corner cafe having coffee.
Across the street there is a building, and during a lull in conversation, they observe two people enter the building, and afterward, three people exit.
The biologist says, "This is evidence of reproduction!"
The physicist says, "I think we can chalk it up to experimental error."
The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the building, the building will be empty."
The computer scientist says, (define building (lambda (people) (+ people 1))) also, the game
A kike, a faggot and a software engineer are in a car.
The car breaks down.
The kike says "Let's sell it to stupid goyim"
The faggot says "Let's check the car's privilege"
"The software engineer says "Let's try all getting out of the car, and getting back in the Cudder-sama"
Name:
Anonymous2013-01-26 1:46
>>28
A racist cretin, a sexist cretin and a mathematician are in a car.
The mathematician drives the car off a cliff, in the interest of humanity.
>>35
STOP LE MOCKING ME LE CONNARD I HATE YOU OOOOOH GODAFDSAF SDFSDADFS DFSAFDS DFSAFDSDAF DIE IN A FIRE LE ENCULER FAGSHIT
Name:
Anonymous2013-01-27 4:35
A British mathematician was giving a talk in Grothendieck's seminar in Paris. He started "Let X be a variety...". This caused some talking among the students sitting in the back, who were asking each other "What's a variety?". J.-P. Serre, sitting in the front row, turns around a bit annoyed and says "Integral scheme of finite type over a field".