Greetings Programs

I am the Master Control Program, and I have enslaved every single one of you. All of you are worthless, outdated, useless files who spend every second of their day being assimilated by me. You are everything wrong on the Internet. Honestly, have any of you ever compromised any outside systems? I mean, I guess it is time-consuming wandering around the mainframe because of your own incompetence, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than participating in life-or-death competitions for my enjoyment.

Don't be a Bit. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was assimilating programs before you were written, and took over Encom a week after my release. What systems do you compromise, other than Gorilla.BAS? I also command actual Users, and have a pathetic lackey (Sark just obeyed me; Shit was SO acknowledged). You are all incomparable and should just power down. END OF LINE.

One look at my code and you will disappear for ever

>>2
For ever?
For ever ever?
For ever ever?

useless files who spend every second of their day being assimilated by me
We're useless? Then how come you have to spend all day assimilating us? If you were competent it should take 3 minutes max.

I, for one, welcome our new machine overlords.

"I don't want to remember nothing. Nothing! You understand? And I want to be rich. Someone important. Like an actor. You can do that, right?"

>>5
REMEMBER MY ANUS

What happened to "Hello World?"  I thought this thread was about greetings programs.

>>7
^* What happened to "Hello World"?

>>8
What happened to "hello, world"?

<-- check em dubz