People You Met in Programming Class

Everyone who has ever taken a high school programming class is bound to have met some interesting people. Tell us about them.

I knew a guy who was absolutely terrible at programming. Whenever the teacher gave us one of her ENTERPRISE JAVA assignments to do, he couldn't do it on his own. Printing and variable management he could handle, but algorithms as simple as converting seconds to hours/minutes/seconds were beyond the scope of his abilities.

Then one day, I was messing around on his calculator and found a bunch of TI-BASIC programs. It turns out, the guy was pretty good with that abomination of a language. He had at least 14 different programs on there, way more complicated than anything he'd done on our computers. I guess that just goes to show how trying to start kids off with an object-oriented language cripples them, and even as limited an imperative language as TI-BASIC can get them to actually understand how to make computers work for them. From that day on, I had a new-found respect for him. Sure, he might have never become an EXPERT PROGRAMMER, but he could have done so much more, if it weren't for our flawed education system. If only they had started him off with C instead of Java (and motherfucking Alice before that), he might be making Pac-Man clones to amuse himself now.

I must add in, though, that all of his programs consisted of nothing but interesting and creative ways to draw dicks on the screen and call the operator a faggot.

>>1

What else do you need to do?

I'd like to see some of these dick algorithms

sage

0/10

>>2

He made subroutine that drew a dick at a set of coordinates. It was kind of impressive, when you consider the fact that he didn't really know how to use functions (oh, I'm sorry, ``methods'') in Java correctly. He then used that subroutine to make, for example:

1. A program that inputs a number, then draws that number of
   dicks in a box pattern
2. A program that draws a circle of dicks
3. A program that spells out "YOU ARE SO GAY" in dicks
4. A variant on the "guess the number" game that used dicks as the output

His magnum opus, however, was a snake game where the snake was  a giant, expanding dick. It could have easily been the slowest program ever written for the TI-83+, but it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

No, he was just incompetent. I started learning programming from some online C++ tutorial (which was actually geared towards games, but about ¹/₂ of it was about programming in general, ¹/₄ about C++ and only ¹/₄ about Win32 programming), and now I can learn languages as I please.

>>5
a snake game where the snake was  a giant, expanding dick.
POST SOURCE NOW

>>6

Yeah, he wasn't a great programmer. That's the point. The competent programmers in the class either jumped ship from Java to better languages or were programming in other languages years before they'd taken the class. The guy was hardly even interested in computers, I'm just saying that he might have had a better experience with it if the people in charge of the programming courses for the district weren't ENTERPRISE dipshits.

>>7

Sadly, all I remember about the program was it did. Keep in mind that I took this class 5 years ago, and I never copied the source or anything.

Basically, think about the snake. Every time it eats a dot, it gains a new segment. In normal snake, it's just a square. In dicksnake, however, it would add on pieces to the dick. The front piece was the head, the end piece was a pair of balls, and the middle pieces were two lines. Each piece would rotate, and there were "corner" pieces as well, which helped maintain the impression of a seamlessly expanding floppy dick. I might hack together a mockup of what it looked like when I have some time to spare, if you're interested.

   ╔════════╗
   ║    ╔═══╝
   ║    ╚═══════D  o
   ╚ß

I was going to actually make a program, but it might be easier to just show you what I meant. The head and balls were more detailed, and the middle sections were wider, but you get the idea.

In my high school programming class I was stuck in between a spoiled rich girl and a flaming homosexual needless to say I fucked both of them so I spent most of my time playing games on whatever site the admins hadn't banned yet. The class was using VB and was a piece of piss, but it was responsible my love of obfuscated code and especially my ability to abuse global variables.

>>10
global variables can't be abused

>>8
Too bad it didn't get fatter and stiffer as it expanded. That truly would have been a masterwork.

>>11
If rule 34 is true, anything can be abused.

>>10
needless to say I fucked both of them
You must have vivid dreams, Anonymous.

>>14
It was scored out for a reason ;_;

>>14
yes i do, yesterday i dreamed that my dick was the /prog/ snake and i fucked abelson in the ass and he screamed eval/apply. then the sussman consed inside me.

i have no idea why i dream stuff like this.
maybe because i spend 18h daily on /prog.

>>16
You are a ...sick man

>>17
Did you mean: ``You are a... lucky man.''?

>>17
who said im a man.

>>19
You are a ...sick boy

IM IS NOT A MAN

>>20

sorry to spoil it for you, but im a energy entety from zorgon 5.
i came to this planet to study on how humans quote on this planet.
and i am not impressed with your ,,faggot quotes´´.

>>22
o rly

Whenever the teacher gave us one of her ENTERPRISE JAVA assignments

gave us one of her

ENTERPRISE JAVA

it makes all sense now

bitches cant program


     ||||||
    /      \
  (|  o  o  |)
   |    >   |
    \ \__/ /
     \    /
  ___|    |____
 /   \____/    \
/   bitches    | \
 | don't know  |  \
_| about my mad|_/\
/| code skillz!|\  \
 |             | \  \

>>25
It bears an uncanny resemblance to Patrick Collision.

>>26

     ||||||
    /      \
  (|  o  o  |)
   |   <    |
    \  __  /
     \    /
  ___|    |____
 /   \____/    \
/              | \
 |  naw nigga, |  \
_|    naw.     |_/\
/|             |\  \
 |             | \  \

Walked in to the first day of CS course, sat next to a pretty cool dude. I ended up being his sole friend for four years, he was incredibly aspie. He wouldn't approach people unless I was with him. Very efficient programmer though, but he always took a naive approach. Fibs for him will always look like this...
(defun fibs (x) (if (< x 2) x (+ (fibs (- x 1)) (fibs (- x 2)))))

     ||||||         
    /      \        
  (|  o  o  |)      
   |   <    |       
    \  __  /        
     \    /         
  ___|    |____     
 /   \____/    \    
/              | \  
 |  naw nigga, |  \ 
_|    naw.     |_/\ 
/|             |\  \
 |             | \  \

>>29
oops, how the hell did could happen to me?
[spoiler]
     ||||||        
    /      \       
  (|  o  o  |)     
   |   <    |      
    \  __  /       
     \    /        
  ___|    |____    
 /   \____/    \   
/              | \ 
 |  naw nigga, |  \
_|    naw.     |_/\
/|             |\  \
 |             | \  \[/spoiler]

>>30
Where's your CROMA at?

Fuck

The only unique person in my high school programming class was an albino black kid that had an afro. He didn't seem to be too stupid either, he asked good questions.

didn't seem to be too stupid
black kid

what

>>34
/prog/
racist jokes

what

>>35
It's not a joke if it's true!

39 Name: Anonymous 2011-02-03 3:10

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