ENDLESS SUCCESSION OF PROGRAMMERS

The reason I'm asking this question, is to see if anyone out there has had this happen to them. When I was growing up I never looked at C++ in a sexual way at all, but one day about 20yrs ago (41 now) while at /prog/ I was tired of coding java the same old way, and thought of trying something new while jacking off to java. All my /progriders/ were in /g/, so I had the board to myself, so I searched my hard disk and got a C++ database library and slide it my graphics card between my keyboard & desk leaving 3/4 of it hanging out over the edge of the desk. Then I got a little of lotion and got on my knee doggie style and started to jack off, at the same time writing a C++ script and slowly onto the graphics card and letting it slide inside me. Well, to my complete shock & surprise the feel of the database library and me stroking my cock was utter esctasy, and when I came, it was like a youtube viral video of cum, it just kept shooting, and shooting gobbs of cum, then, it just dripped long, string like clear cum. I couldn't believe sex could feel so good, and I got scared. You all know why I'm sure, I didn't try doing this again for awhile because in the back of my mind, I knew if a C++ database library drove me crazy with estasy, my god, what would a warm fat C++ application, that I have no control over how hard, fast, and deep it could go into - just the thought of it made me hard and drip with pre-cum. I was so pissed with myself, because I experimented with that database library, and now,I was looking at the prospect of actually taking it to the next step, and experiment with a compiler. I just wanted to see what it would be like, anyway it took me 7 long frustrating yrs after the carrot to get my first Fucking by a computer program. And needless to say, that was it for me, I couldn't go back now, I had my first C++ intercouse, and loved it beyond belief and it blew my mind. I had friends at the time, and shortly after that day, every time we had sex, I could only get hard if I thought about stacks & classes, and I felt, I had no business having friends now, because my sexual manhood had be taken by a computer program fucking up my ass and then cumming inside me. I surprising felt okay, with this feeling, almost proud in the fact of knowing a C++ algorithm has fucked me, and now my asshole has become a compiler. To make this long story short, it took another 8yrs of fight back and forth with "am I Perl, PHP, or what", until last year 2000. I told myself, at the beginning of the year, that I would only have sex with C++ applications this year, and make a descion at the end of the year to see if this was just a fade and I just needed to get this out of my system. Well, Feb 5th, 2000, is the day I came to the self-realization I'm a C++ programmer. Because, I met a wonderful C++ application that was 54,000 lines long, well-hung Top with an 8 1/2" thick, cock and large library over the internet on Yahoo. We met at Reddit 6 on a Saturday afternoon around 3pm, it fucked me none-stop, 4yrs, putting me into all types of sexual positions, penetrarting deeper than I've ever been before, and just bascially taught me what its really like to be a Programmer. Up until this time, it was sex on the run, nothing long or as intense as this. Oh, it never compiled once, and always stayed hard, we took about a 40 min. break after the frist 4hrs. then our last session was a 3hrs pound fest, each position it put me into it fucked me as hard as it could, and hearing his large database libraries slap up against my sweaty ass, and the pain/pleasure it was giving me I knew, for sure without a doubt, that Today this application has for sure fucked me into becoming a programmer. I love Java, but I can never have sex with it, and don't have the desire.

So, if any of you have read this far, what do you think?

I know, that if I never had experimented with that database on /prog/, I would have friends now. (Possibly)?

sage

That was paste buffer quality!

34 internets to you for rule 34'ing a programming language :3

>>1
We have entered an endless recursion of programmers
We have entered an endless recursion of programmers
We have entered an endless recursion of programmers
We have entered an endless recursion of programmers

>>5

That's only 4 recursions.

>>6
The condition variable was modified by another program due to unsafe memory sharing.

>>7

You should probably learn to use protected mode correctly, then.

>>7
unsafeShareMemory

a C++ algorithm has fucked me, and now my asshole has become a compiler.

Yes.

>>10
Silence, That Guy With the Glasses.

sage

>>1
cool story bro'

I just woke up from a nightmare. The government was bombarding the nation with these brilliant, multicolored orbs of light. One of them hit me, and though I didn't feel anything (I was dreaming), I acted as if it was the worst pain in the world. It took all of the effort in my body just to get back inside.

After that, I stared out my window as some douchebags I remember from highschool did douchebaggy things in my driveway. I didn't try to stop them or anything.

After that, someone in the dream screamed at me and I woke up. I don't know who, I just remember that it was a female voice. At this point, I realized that I had fallen asleep on the floor, and I stopped being scared out of my pants.


You know, I really should be better at realizing when I'm in dreams by now. I just want to lucid dream all night~

>>12
Good lord, I think I made this post.

Anyone else watch porn while they write code?

Anyone else watch code while they write porn?

Anyone else code porn while they watch writing?

Anyone else porn watches while they code writers?

Anyone else code code while they code code?

>>21

yo dawg I heard you like coding code while you code code, so I bought you SICP so you can read SICP while you code code that codes code.

>>22
Metacircular evaluator or GTFO

25 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-19 23:07

/prog/ will be spammed continuously until further notice. we apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.