Let's compile /prog/ memes!

::Haskell the (dead) dog:: ^{★★☆☆☆}
    A dog that died to give birth to a meme.
    See http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1184887501

>>1
Dog names: Haskell, Lisper, Ruby, Guido, Ritchie
I actually considered 1,3 and 4 when I got my last dog. I finally decided, but someone already gave my dog a rather cliche dog-name to which it was attached. Damn my indecisiveness.
>>2
DOLLFAGERS?
I thought you were cured or had at least switched the target of your obsession