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Recantations of a Schemer

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-25 18:27

Hello friends,

My name is Gerald J. Sussman and I'd like to take this chance to tell you all about the exciting opportunities available to scientific and constructive folks just like you. How often have you been helplessly trying to understand the GRUNNUR keyword? And ladies, you know what I'm talking about when you use reflection in your factory object for caching immutable instances. Monadic stack overflows? Goroutines? Actors? Closures? Forget it! Throw it out!

That's right, with BlitzBasic, you can throw out the scientists and focus on what really matters: the artist. Effortlessly create the games of your own choosing: religious games, wrestling games, boxing games, music games, even soccer! Redefine genres and bravely tackle concepts with the BlitzBasic programming environment.

Of course you're still not convinced; you're skeptical and won't let my cult of personality or beautiful physique sway you. "How is BlitzBasic better than LISP or any of my other toy languages?", I can hear you asking. To answer your question, BlitzBasic isn't a toy language. BlitzBasic has been deployed in thousands of real-world applications ranging from providing notice of school closings over the telephone to managing control rods in experimental nuclear reactors!

Find what "gaming's most outspoken character" has known for almost a decade. Now that it has all come to an end, he can finally tell you. Don't let this once-in-a-lifetime offer pass you by! Order today!

Mat Dickie's Guide to BlitzBasic, Available Everywhere. $14.99+S/H.

Name: MDickie !HOXIp0gGW6 2009-11-25 18:44

Unscientific and ultimately destructive.

Also, Have you read your fan mail today?

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-25 18:53

why would anybody use a programming language with "basic" in the name?
even if the language was hard you would still be thought of as inexperienced, because, lets face it, basic programmers use basic languages.

Name: Leah Culver !1LEahRIBg. 2009-11-25 18:59

I'm Leah Culver and my labia healed 95% when I switched from my Mac and hipster languages, and started developing with BlitzBasic and Windows Vista. Thank you Mat Dickie for showing me the way.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-25 19:44

>>3
Because it's BLITZbasic motherfucker!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-25 21:20

>>5
But it's BlitzBASIC.

Name: ​​​​​​​​​​ 2010-10-25 13:51

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-28 3:01

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-26 10:43

Don't change these.
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