┼┼┼SUDDENLY┼┼┼

A fiery explosion illuminates the walls of your house and out from the flames pours an angry demon that pierces your soul with his stare and utters "JAVA or Visual Basic. You must only program in one. Lest you will invoke my wrath"

What do you do?

Greater daemon of enterprise?

>>1
Does Clojure count as Java? I think I might be able to at least stand that.

At this moment, the ceiling gives out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. A loud booming hiss which seems to sound like "Have you read your SICP today?" fills the air. I lift my head and discover...

Standing in front, catching the blade with his crotch-snake, was the robed figure of The Sussman. Standing beside him, with flaming red hair, was Shana.

"You and your ENTERPRISE BULLSHITE." The Sussman says in his usual expressionless tone, "You think you can defy my power?"

"You want to get in my way? Once I open this Mystes, the Lord Anal Touring is bound to have some sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more cudders."

"You are supposed to be my backup." The Sussman says in a mantra-like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my commands."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I will send you to the land of Java."

my.wrath()

>>5
What about i instanceof Wrath?

Java. With JRuby

>>4
Why do we never invoke the Abelson?

>>9
He requires mana from the python swamps and my deck has no swamp cards

java ofcourse.
java isn't all that bad really once it wears down your resolve and indoctrinates you into the ENTERPRISE OO way of doing things.
VB is painful to use.

>>9
because life is unfair.
either that or Abelson worshippers are not as loud as Sussmen.

I conjure the spirits of the computer and they fight the demon.

>>9
He's got a Nerd Pride pocket protector, I'll give you that.

Be honest;

How many of you are like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UisF1ohxgTM

>>14
Jesus FUCK!!

>>14
hahahahaha, fat people.
nope, i'm slender and athletic looking

>>14
I am extremely cute and wear a frilly dress and a touhou hat.

>>14
YEAH im a little like that. not on quite the same order of magnitude of fatness but a bit

>>1
Java with jython

>>14
I don't look like that at all anymore. I am a programmer so I sit at my computer pretty much all day long. Three years ago, I implemented a relatively easy exercise routine because I was tired of being fat and helpless. Every hour, I'd do one round of a quick exercise. When I began, examples of what I was capable of looked something like this:
* 5 jumps of a skipping rope
* 2 push ups
* 3 bodyweight squats
* Easy stair climb

I did only one of these exercises at a time. It took me months of dedicated work to improve those numbers.

>>1
UPvoted for /prog/ roleplaying

yes

>>1
Neither. It's a good day to die.

Java, I like money.

>>14
Around 0:36 I stopped in fear for my soul.

Jisual Basic. Thats the Java equivalent right?

Jizzual Basic

>>27
That was VIP quality

>>28
What about ;aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>29
Valid The ABC Programming Language code.

Neither. I can just get a shitty job a PHP developer.

Visual because C++ isnt on there...