┼┼┼SUDDENLY┼┼┼

A fiery explosion illuminates the walls of your house and out from the flames pours an angry demon that pierces your soul with his stare and utters "JAVA or Visual Basic. You must only program in one. Lest you will invoke my wrath"

What do you do?

At this moment, the ceiling gives out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. A loud booming hiss which seems to sound like "Have you read your SICP today?" fills the air. I lift my head and discover...

Standing in front, catching the blade with his crotch-snake, was the robed figure of The Sussman. Standing beside him, with flaming red hair, was Shana.

"You and your ENTERPRISE BULLSHITE." The Sussman says in his usual expressionless tone, "You think you can defy my power?"

"You want to get in my way? Once I open this Mystes, the Lord Anal Touring is bound to have some sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more cudders."

"You are supposed to be my backup." The Sussman says in a mantra-like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my commands."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I will send you to the land of Java."