Name: Anonymous 2009-03-25 1:35
Python
S&M practitioners: Everything is FORCED. You do not make yourown decisions about where to put your code. GUIDO makes those decisionsfor you. You will OBEY THE GUIDO. You LIKE feeling his lash. This isn'tsome other sissy-boy language. This is PYTHON. You don't solve it anyway you want. You solve it GUIDO's way. And you LIKE it. Scum.
People with OCD: "I have to put exactly 1 tab before every for loop or the world will end!"
COBOL
HP Lovecraft: No amount of opium can ever make me forget.
Intercal
Those thirty-somethings that still dress up as Klingons and terrify children on Halloween.
Ruby
Hipsters: It is neat, it is good looking, no one would admit that they are a ruby programmer.
PHP
Hot Topic Kids: You have all the trappings of a subculture but none of the real content, but it basically gets the job done. If you don't mind being like everyone else.
Visual Basic.net
Middle Managers at IT shops: This guy read onecomputer book in the 80's and still swears by it, he still thinks theinternet is a series of tubes. He is really smarmy and has way toomuch money, but he always looks nice, in a sleazy kind of way.
Perl
Old Yippies: They used to be cool and really revolutionary at one time, but now they are crazy old bastards and they yammer on and no one can understand what the hell they are saying except for a few people. But if you can understand what they are saying you are likely as not to hear something really cool
Java
Middle Aged men who drive sports cars and try to date 18 yearold girls, but just can't seem to get the hang of when classes startand end, so they hang outside the highschool all creepy.
Lisp
Gothic, neo-colonialist, poetry reading fetsihists. People whowrite in lisp are over arrogant dark harted people siting in theirbasements writing out "The world's most beautiful and complex closure"just waiting for the next chance they get to tell some one that asksfor help with the syntax of their .emacsrc, "If you don't know I amnot telling". They all listen to really bad neo-synth pop fromgermany too.
Freemasons: Very few people understand what this language is doing and its probably a secret cult, but you are pretty sure you could controll the world if you could just figure out how to use it.
C
I was trying to think of a good stereotype for this, but the onlypicture that came to mind was impact. These programmers are big guysyou wouldn't want to fuck with, but are really nice. They probably have family members in motorcycle gangs. When there is an error onthere linux laptop they sometimes just go look at the source instead of searching for the error online. They are usually ham radio operators too.
S&M practitioners: Everything is FORCED. You do not make yourown decisions about where to put your code. GUIDO makes those decisionsfor you. You will OBEY THE GUIDO. You LIKE feeling his lash. This isn'tsome other sissy-boy language. This is PYTHON. You don't solve it anyway you want. You solve it GUIDO's way. And you LIKE it. Scum.
People with OCD: "I have to put exactly 1 tab before every for loop or the world will end!"
COBOL
HP Lovecraft: No amount of opium can ever make me forget.
Intercal
Those thirty-somethings that still dress up as Klingons and terrify children on Halloween.
Ruby
Hipsters: It is neat, it is good looking, no one would admit that they are a ruby programmer.
PHP
Hot Topic Kids: You have all the trappings of a subculture but none of the real content, but it basically gets the job done. If you don't mind being like everyone else.
Visual Basic.net
Middle Managers at IT shops: This guy read onecomputer book in the 80's and still swears by it, he still thinks theinternet is a series of tubes. He is really smarmy and has way toomuch money, but he always looks nice, in a sleazy kind of way.
Perl
Old Yippies: They used to be cool and really revolutionary at one time, but now they are crazy old bastards and they yammer on and no one can understand what the hell they are saying except for a few people. But if you can understand what they are saying you are likely as not to hear something really cool
Java
Middle Aged men who drive sports cars and try to date 18 yearold girls, but just can't seem to get the hang of when classes startand end, so they hang outside the highschool all creepy.
Lisp
Gothic, neo-colonialist, poetry reading fetsihists. People whowrite in lisp are over arrogant dark harted people siting in theirbasements writing out "The world's most beautiful and complex closure"just waiting for the next chance they get to tell some one that asksfor help with the syntax of their .emacsrc, "If you don't know I amnot telling". They all listen to really bad neo-synth pop fromgermany too.
Freemasons: Very few people understand what this language is doing and its probably a secret cult, but you are pretty sure you could controll the world if you could just figure out how to use it.
C
I was trying to think of a good stereotype for this, but the onlypicture that came to mind was impact. These programmers are big guysyou wouldn't want to fuck with, but are really nice. They probably have family members in motorcycle gangs. When there is an error onthere linux laptop they sometimes just go look at the source instead of searching for the error online. They are usually ham radio operators too.