Job for you

Be greeted, I have an anouncement to make.
I wish to hire ANY person who knows a shit about computers to do something.

The rquest is this: as you might know Russians have been taking over the nett, hacking nearly every site avalible. I want you bastards to take them or just hack evry bloody site creatig "Pluto Kiss" (for those who remember .hack//)

There is no pay except the thril of doing it.
 PS. Police can give up on geting me XD I'm at school!

So /prog/, recently I have been recieving harassing calls at home from 3 jerks I know IRL. To combat this, I started zen programming out of the house usually in bars or starbucks.
Has anyone else had success doing this?
Everything was going well until last night. I was programming at my local pub when the very same 3 jackasses, DivideByZero, ArrayIndexOutOfBounds, and NullPointer, came marching in. Now, those three are obviously underage, yet they tried ordering a drink anyway. All I could do is laugh and chuckle as the bartender kept refusing to serve them. "Cmon, just one drink!" asked DivideByZero, but the bartender just said, "Sorry, No Expections"